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"If I never again were to blink my eyes, would the world stutter? Well, that was melodramatic. Then again, what kind of Annika would I be were I not over the top? I'm such an idiot. Why did I open my mouth? If I'd just kept quiet, if I had just nodded my head and been nice, none of this would have happened.
"But... why should I have to do that? Why am I always supposed to be nice and friendly? I never meant to hurt anyone, that's the last thing I would ever do. Maybe it is me. Maybe my mind is screwy for thinking bad thoughts about other people... and this is my punishment. I'm loathed. People hate me. People hate me because I said what was on my mind. If I'd had the Force foresight to predict their feelings, I would've done what I usually do, and bottle up my emotions.
"Shove them down.
"Swallow them whole.
"Choke on them.
"I guess Princesses aren't exactly supposed to have opinions or dislike things. I didn't know that. I'm not a perfect Princess. My crown is dusty and tarnished.
"Why couldn't they see my side?? Why couldn't they understand my point of view? I explained it, and explained it, and explained it. Maybe they didn't want an explanation, maybe they were shocked that I could be anything other the perky bubble gum pink rabbit. Lamia was right after all; I am in a box. I mean, sure, it's a pretty pink box, but I'm still trapped in it. And I wonder... did they cage me in here... or did I? Was I too meek for too long? Did I hold my tongue when I should've unleashed it? What picture is this? Did they paint my outlines... or did I? Is it my hand that holds the paintbrush?
"And now, here I stand at a crossroads. I can apologise and grovel on my knees for forgiveness, or I can stand by my emotions and individual opinions. Gods help me; I don't know what to do. I don't want to stab myself in the back, but I don't know how much longer I can tolerate this negativity that's aimed solely at my heart.
"Like daggers. Their hatred is like daggers. The sharpest cut.
"Is there some rule in some book somewhere that says, 'Annika must like everyone'? 'Annika can't have feelings, Annika can't have opinions, Annika can't be herself'. They don't even know me... so why do I care what they think of me?
"Because I'm a fragile minded, broken hearted, child. I so desperately want - no, desperately need to be liked. Never loved. I honestly don't know why he stays with me.
"My heart is made up of toothpicks and popsicle sticks, held together by cheap cello tape... I don't know if it can stand being broken again. What if what she says is true? What if it is?
"I don't like being cast in the role of Sithly daemon. I'm supposed to be Love, not Hate! So why don't I like her? Why do I almost hate her?
"I should probably stop crying. I should probably go to bed. I should probably..."
