Xarae's Saga, Part 3

Xarae fell against against a tree, out of breath and panting. Why she was running from him, she didn't know. The feel of him holding her was so beautiful... why WAS she running away? She fell to her knees, pressed up against the tall, smooth-barked tree. Xarae began to blame Maul himself for the way she was fleeing almost fearfully from his arms, but in truth, she was afraid of herself. Never before had she felt any sort of passion or desire. These feelings were completely new to her. NO! She put her hands to her tear straked face. I have no desire for that beast! She leaned her head back against her shoulders and whimpered in fustration. He's a total stranger, Xarae! You let a total stranger touch you like that! She screamed again. You have yet again disgraced your family!

"Net hayat umiono!" Xarae wailed. Her hopeless voice echoed throught he woods, like the trees themselves were cursing her. It's so true! I am just a dirty whore! Hilaxede was right!

Maul gazed at the sparkling sea of stars above him. The deep throated hoots and calls of nocturnal birds sounded through the valley. Maul put the long, heavy tool he was holding back into the small compartment. He was so tired, yet he couldn't sleep. Sidious's lecture on compassion was still ringing in his ears. However unpleasant it is, he is right, he thought. Compassion leads to weakness. Love is both a danger and a distraction. He sat up. As is any passion or desire. Maul groaned in exaspiration and swiftly jumped off the short stubby wing of his craft. As Master said, I am still young.... you are still only twenty years of age, Maul, these things should be expected. He sighed, almost not wanting to believe it all, and walked into the ship. The clunking of his heavy boots on matal carried through the ship to the small, almost hidden room with the sleep couch. He sat down heavily and leaned forward, slowly pulling off his boots and various leg wraps. Wearily tossing them to the side, Maul reached up and slowly puller his loose, disheveled tunics over his head. He unfastened his lightsaber from his belt and tucked it safely to the side of the small pillow. Maul laid down on his back, emotionlessly staring at the low ceiling of his ship.

"Why must you taunt yourself Maul?" He spoke out loud. "You are doing this to yourself. It isn't the girl. You don't have to be so... concerned about her. Why are you?" He paused and ran a hand over his jigsaw face. "I don't know," Maul mumbled. He turned over and clutched his lightsaber tightly. "I don't know," he said again before drifting off to sleep.

"Kiruon, you don't understand!" Xarae yelled. "I kissed him. I let him... touch me," she said, much quieter this time.

"Xarae, sister, listen to yourself! You are going insane over one kiss. How much harm could one kiss do?"

"No harm! Bur if I so readily kissed him, just think what else I could just as readily do." Kiruon sighed and glanced outside at the morning sun.

"Are you so afraid to 'accidentally' fall into bed with him? Sometimes things are meant to happen, Xarae." The short-haired woman returned to peeling fruit.

"Ohhh!" Xarae threw her hands up in fustration. "You are of no help whatsoever, tetuta!" Xarae called Kiruon "sister" in their language. Kiruon looked up from the fruit, her green eyes intent.

"Xarae. If you really are so worried about this man, then just stop going to him. It's that simple. Out of sight, out of mind."

"I'm telling you..." Xarae's stern expression became soft, as did her voice. "I can't do that."

"And why can't you?" Xarae closed her eyes.

"I... I just can't."

"Fine. Be that way. But don't come running to me next time he 'touches' you. It will be your own fault if you awake up in his bed." The older woman turned back to the knife and bowl of food balanced on her swollen belly, flipping her ear-length brown locks in the process.

"Why did I even have to meet him?" Xarae asked to no one as she stormed out of the hut.

Maul hacked violently at the wet, tangled green undergrowth with his lightsaber, its crimson blade shining like a beacon in the forest darkened by the curtain of nightfall. It had been five standard days since he had accidentally arrived on this lush planet. Three since the afternoon in the flower-covered pond. And all three days had been filled with akwardness and unspoken words between him and the girl. However hard he tried, Maul could not push thoughts of her out of his mind. Hopefully, this late night visit to the ruins would help him do that. A heavy vine fell to his feet, revealing the crystalline pond. Milky moonilght glinted off of the limpid pool as it shone from the opening in the trees. The only sounds to be heard were those of nature. The gentle trickle of water against water as a stream poured from the ancient temple ruins. The soft chirping of crickets and other nighttime insects. The hoots an calls of the birds and other fauna. The faint rustling of a breeze through the tall trees. The flowing, seductive melodies of.... singing? Someone was singing. No, not someone. An angel was singing. Certainly, only an angel could make such beautiful music as he heard. Maul swallowed hard. The ancient sounds seemed to wash over the place like a mist. It enveloped him. He could almost hear the steady four-four time of the accompanying drums and the beautifully reedy sound of the single flute that would sing with the.... heavenly voice. A small splash snapped him back to life, his eyes fluttering open. He has to restrain himself from gasping at what he saw. It... it was her. She was there, standing in the water. Maul couldn't believe his eyes. She has stepped out from behind a partially demolished wall of the temple that was standing in the pond. She was singing. It was her with the otherworldly voice!

"By the gods..." he whispered. She bent down and dipped her cupped hands in the water and splashed her face with it. Her long braid was taken out, allowing her wavy locks to fall at least down to her thighs. He couldn't tell on account of her being half in the water. Maul saw her bare chest rise as she stopped her singing and took a deep breath to go underwater. The empty silence shook with Maul's nervousness as the few seemingly endless seconds Xarae was submerged ticked away. Suddenly she appeared again, thrusting from the still pool in a shimmering splash of water. Maul took a deep breath to keep his weakening knees from giving out. The girl resumed singing and began wringing her hair out. Every move she made caused the ivory moonbeams to glint and glimmer off of the droplets of water on her, making them look like fine jewels upon her honey-colored flesh. Xarae reached back and pulled her hair over her shoulder, laying it on her pale breast. Maul felt himself start to sweat. How could she not see me? he thought frantically. I thought she had the Force! He watched intently as she reached back and pulled wodden hair clips from behind her head. Muffling the sound of her voice, she put them in her mouth and lifted her arms to pile her hair on top of her head. Maul couldn't help it. He dropped his heavy lightsaber to the ground. The beautiful melody stopped completely. Xarae looked up. After a wary pause, she hurriedly began swimming to shore, where she grabbed her clothes, covered her naked body with them, and took off into the woods.

Maul stood stunned for a moment. Wide-eyed and open-mouthed, he glanced around before picking up his lightsbaer. He forcibly wiped the shocked expression from his face and cleared his throat. He turned, and, the epitome of feigned composure, walked back down his forged path to his ship.

Xarae came the next morning, as usual, with breakfast. It was raining, as it had been more frequently since Maul has arrived. It was cold. Surprisingly, she did not question Maul about the incident of the night before. He noticed no sidelong glances or nervous breaths. Well, no more than usual at least. They ate with no interruptions.

"When.... are you leaving?" Xarae asked hesitantly, out of the blue, packing up the leftovers from their early meal together. Maul finished up the jug of wine and set it down between them on the floor of the ship. Maul thought about the question. He had been working very hard on the ship, and all he needed to do was a small repair on the acceleration compensator.

"Tomorrow." The word struck her like an arrow.

"Do you have to?" Gods, Xarae thought. He is my only chance of leaving here and finally having the life I long for. And he is leaving tomorrow? I only have another day to convince him to take me with him...

"Yes," Maul responded indifferently. "Do you wish for me to stay?" He bravely looked her in the eyes. Not having done so in four days, he couldn't help but gasp at their rediscovered beauty. Don't cry Xarae... Don't let him see you cry.... She felt her lower lip quiver as more slow moving seconds slipped past.

"Yes, I, I am not ready for you to leave." She tried to hold down the rising knot in her throat. Her eyes began to sting with the salty clouds of tears. Maul watched a tear fall down her cheek.

"Why are you crying?" He whispered. Xarae looked down. Don't tell him...

"Because.." Xarae couldn't help it. The words forced themselves form her lips. "I want to go with you. I don't want to be a bride. I want to leave with you. I want you to teach me everything there is to know. I want..." She took a breath to lower her rising voice. "I don't want to stay here."

Maul was shocked. He sat there, almost dumbfounded, looking at the now weeping girl. He said the only thing that came this mind.

"What would a beautiful girl like you want with me?" She began sobbing even louder. Maul panicked. He had never had to... deal with a crying woman before. "Stop blubbering and come here." He reached out and quickly pulled Xarae to him, knocking over the things between them in the process. She buried her tear streaked face in his tunics. "Tell me." He said. "Tell me what I can do to help." Xarae sniffled.

"Bring me with you."

"Why?" Maul asked.

"Why!?" she mimicked. "Have you not seen how horrible my life here is? I am abused by my parents, the village thinks I am a witch and is this close to burning me, I have secrets I cannot tell anyone, I possess this.... Force..." Xarae looked him in the eyes. "And on top of it all, in another few weeks I will be wed against my will to the only man I truly despise!" She took a deep breath and started to speak again. "I cannot learn or go to school because I am a woman, I cannot become a warrior because I am a woman -- I am destined to a life of being a slave, catering to everyone's wishes but mine because of my sex! I have seen how horrible being married is in this village. I am afraid of life here." Xarae couldn't help but start crying again. "NOW tell me what else you can do but take me away. I shall certainly kill myself if I must stay here for much longer."

Maul sat and stared into Xarae's eyes. How could such a beautiful woman -- inside, and, of what he had seen, outside -- be treated like this?

"You don't want to go back with me. Life at the Sith temple is very hard," he whispered.

"It cannot be any worse than life here."

"You don't understand... my Master, Sidious, he would never allow you to come and stay." Xarae's determined expression didn't even flinch. "He would kill you if I brought you there without his permission. And if he didn't kill you, he would make you his slave or mistress or something horrible like that. And even if he agrees to let you stay as a guest or learner or something, your life would be harder than you could ever imagine." He was virtually pleading with her, but she still kept her stern eyes fixed on his.

"I would be willing to take those risks." She let her expression soften, and she grasped onto his tunics. "Please."

"You're serious," he said. Her eyes seemed to answer for her. Maul sighed. "I'll see what I can do." He turned suddenly into his old, unemotional self and let go of Xarae. "But I'm not making any promises."

"I understand." Xarae stood up. "I must be going now... my family needs me for the day." She began to walk out of the ship.

"Wait!" Maul said, getting to his feet. Xarae turned to face him. "Can't you stay?"

"I am being fitted for my wedding gown this morning," she said sadly. Maul paused and gave her a worried look. Before he could say anything, she had darted outside and was running home. Maul let out an almost relieved sigh and leaned up against the cold metal wall of his craft. What have you gotten yourself into this time, Maul? He sank down to the floor and put his horned head in his hands. You can't just leave well enough alone? Gods... I can't take her back, or Sidious will reprimand me unendingly about being compassionate. He sat against the wall, his mind whirring almost audibly. How can you not bring her with you? Who could let such a beautiful girl stay here and be treated like that? Don't lie to yourself Maul.... That's not why you want to bring her back, and you know it! He stood up, turned, and put his head to the wall as his mind drifted to the night before at the ruins. Maddened by his thoughts and his inability to turn them into reality, Maul brought up his fist and punched the wall, denting in the sheet metal. Cursing and shaking the sting out of his hand, Maul made his way to the tool compartment to begin his final repairs.

Xarae quietly crept back into her small hanging cot in the family hut. The structure creaked slghtly as she put her weight in the hammock. Please don't wake up, please don't... she silently begged to her siblings and parents. Slowly, Xarae got as comfortable as was possible in the coarse, thin blankets and shut her eyes, feigning sleep. Not that she could get back to sleep after the emotional early morning with Maul. Don't think about it.... Don't think about it... she told herself. But she couldn't push it from her mind. She was half excited, half disappointed. Xarae was excited about the possibility of leaving wth Maul, but at the same time disappointed at what he had said about returning with him. I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens, she decided. And so Xarae lay, staring at the ceiling, daydreaming until her father rudely roused her and the day's activities began.

Xarae laid on her cot that night, staring at the gown that hung before her, as if trying to stare it down. Eventually, she turned away. She couldn't bring herself to look at it any longer. It was like gazing into her destined-to-be-horrific future as a bride. Xarae whimpered in an effort to restrain herself from crying. Soon, the preparations for the wedding would begin. Her trials would start soon as well. Xarae shuddered at the thought. She feared the trials. Kiruon said they were so painful, especially the tattoo... Xarae cringed and turned over in her uncomfortable hammock. Just go to sleep... Try to think of something else... She took a deep breath to calm herself and slowly drifted off to sleep, imagining of a gentle hand running over her hair.

Xarae dreamt that night. She was somewhere she didn't recognize, yet every detail of the large city and the apartment she was in seemed so eerily familiar. She was standing in a doorway, gazing into a large, empty room. Well, mostly empty. Off to one side, on a small sleep couch, sat Maul. He was holding, of all things, a small child. A baby boy.

"Xarae." He put a finger to his lips. "He's sleeping." She smiled at the sight. And suddenly, she felt a hot stab in her chest and fell to the ground in pain. But upon opening her eyes, she was not in the empty room in the city. She was on the cold marble floor of an ornate palace. Maul was here, too. He was on top of her, protecting her, almost. She could hear his ragged breathing. Xarae looked down at her bloodstained clothes in horror. Maul dragged her into a crevice in the wall.

"What were you thinking? You could have died out there?? You didn't have to do that." He looked down at her wounds. "Gods, how many times did they hit you?" He ripped the arm off of his dark tunic to reveal a gash of his own in his limp arm. She watched, mesmerized, and the blood dripped down his arm. The red was so bright, so stark... Her vision was flooded by it until all she could see was the deep, dark crimson. But now, it wasn't blood. Suddenly, she was seeing roses. Tons and tons of scarlet roses. Roses? She didn't even know what they were. Xarae glanced at herself. Her white, angelic gown was once again stained with blood, a large, circle of sanguine on her abdomen. She fell to the ground, clawing at where blood had seeped through her clothes. And then, she called out a name she didn't ever want to hear again.

"Khameir!!" Xarae sat bolt upright in her cot, causing it to sway, creaking back and forth. Panicked, she lifted up her tunic to check herself for the horrific wounds in her dream. "It was only a nightmare..." she whispered, seeing that the laceration wasn't there. She took a deep breath to slow her rapid heartbeat. Xarae put her head in her hands and watched the sweat and tears drip from her nose and eyelashes. She pushed her sweat drenched wisps of hair behind her ears.

"What are you yelling about?" Xarae turned to see an angry Alldebarron in the door of the boys' room.

"I had a nightmare. I'm sorry if I woke you up," she apologized.

"Don't let it happen again." Her brother turned and plodded back to his cot.