Color Me Asunder

Xarae massaged her temples. How could she sleep? How could she sleep knowing Shitsuren was hurting? She couldn't. She had quite the headache though. Xarae laid her head on the dining room table and sighed.

Xarae screamed when she awoke from her dream.

"My hands... my hands..." She looked at her hands and was relieved to find them clean from the blood she had dreamed of. Suddenly, Tashita and Ippin came running into the room.

"Xarae? Was that you? Are you okay?" Tashita said, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Yes... I just... had a bad dream." Xarae stood up.

"You're alright though?" Ippin asked, obviously concerned.

"Yes." Xarae smiled as a realization came over her. "I'm perfectly fine."

"Destiny?" Shitsuren looked up from the barely-touched meal that was set before him. "Is there anything you don't know?" Destiny's eyes lingered briefly on Shitsuren's.

"I know everything." Destiny sat up taller in his high-backed, velvet-lined chair. "I even know enough to admit that I do not know everything." Shitsuren looked back at his food, half unsatisfied with Destiny's answer, half happy with it. "Why do you ask?"

"I..." Shitsuren though about his words. How could he phrase this? How could he do this without sounding suicidal, at the least? "When do I die?" He closed his eyes, disturbed and angry that he wanted to know. Death was something natural. Death was something that came unexpectedly. It wasn't right for someone to know about their own death.

"Shitsuren..." Destiny closed his eyes and leaned his head back dreamily. "Death will wait until you are ready for her. She will come on silver-lined wings of bliss, she will come quickly, and she will come with a heavenly smile on her face." Shitsuren was taken aback. "Death, on swift wings, shall find you in the arms of a desperate, fallen angel." What was this? What was Destiny saying? Shitsuren cringed at the words, the words that held more hope than anything he had felt in... his life. He will die in the arms of an angel that he loves... He cringed, squinting his eyes shut so to blink out his tears. "An angel with no wings, a great angel, that realized he couldn't buy love, that was willing to fall for you." Shitsuren stood up and ran from the room.

"Goukai, you must trust me on this one!"

"Mother, I won't let you go and ruin Father's life like this!" Goukai frowned at Xarae. "I can't let you do it. He loves Destiny, he wouldn't be able..."

"Trust me! Destiny will not die. If anything, Destiny will be finally born."

"How do you know what will happen?" The pale-eyed young man did not budge from his place in front of the only door from Xarae's room.

"I don't know what will happen exactly... But I know no harm will come to Destiny. My dream was a PREMONITION, Goukai. I just KNOW." Goukai scowled. "I can get there wether you block that door or not," Xarae said.

"I know," he said, visibly relaxing. "I just don't want... I don't want anything bad to happen."

"Trust me, Goukai." Xarae smiled warmly. "I don't want your father harmed either. I will do nothing to hurt him, or Destiny."

"Promise?" Goukai smiled slightly as well.

"I promise."

Shitsuren moaned slightly and rubbed his head. I must have fallen... he observed. He didn't remember tripping, but that was the most obvious explanation why he was laying sprawled out on the first landing of the stairs. Why ever had he attempted to get up the stairs like that? Shitsuren shook his head and slowly brought himself to his feet. Using the handrail for support, Shitsuren made his way back downstairs to the dining room, where he assumed Destiny was still sitting.

On his slow journey there, Shitsuren heard voices. He stopped to listen. He recognized one as Destiny, and the other was that of a woman, but very familiar...

"The Phoenix." Shitsuren scowled. What does she want with him? What is she doing here? He followed the sounds of their voices as they echoed through the hallways of Destiny's palace. Eventually, he found them in the large room Destiny liked to call the Atrium. The room was definitely unique; its immense domed ceiling of stained glass gave it an eerie, almost medieval feel to it when the sun or moonlight poured through. Shitsuren often had come here just to watch the beautiful colors dance across the cold stone floor, or to see them glitter in the water of the massive fountain at the far wall. But today, the waters flowed no longer.

Shitsuren nearly fell to his knees when he saw the bright image of the Phoenix. He was in the presence of an angel! He felt obliged to bow before her majesty. Before he could do so, she called out his name.

"Shitsuren!"

"Shitsuren!" She called out again to him. He took a few reluctant steps into the room, and they echoed to the ceiling. Another two steps he took, from under the stone overhang and into the pool of color that came from above. The bright yellows and reds and greens of the ceiling fell onto him, and he shielded his eyes from their light. He was enveloped in their halo.

"Shitsuren, don't come any closer!" Destiny turned and held out his hands, his palms towards where Shitsuren stood. "She is the devil! She comes to take you from me!" The Phoenix looked at Shitsuren sadly from where she floated in mid-air. He returned her gaze, his pale lavender, lifeless eyes full of depth in the abundance of light and color.

"Shitsuren, don't be afraid. I'm here to help you." The Phoenix stretched out her six red wings to their full length, and their scarlet feathers brushed against the ceiling. She smiled at Shitsuren.

"Am I going to die?" Xarae was taken aback by the unadulterated innocence in his question. Shitsuren hung his head against the bright purple, velvet dress he wore. "I am not afraid." Another step into the light came Shitsuren, the long royal train of his dress trailing behind him. His bony, pale fingers clenched into fists. Neither Destiny nor the Phoenix said a word as Shitsuren slowly, step by step, made his way to where they stood on the other end of the room. As he passed under the streams of light, they seemed to almost waver. Ripples of lilac came from Shitsuren as he walked, distorting the crimson shade the Phoenix's wings gave the light. Shitsuren took a deep breath and began to speak. "Raise your sword to my chest as you like, Phoenix. I am ready if you think I am. I have nothing to say good bye to. I have no regrets. I have nothing to finish, I have nothing to begin. I have nothing to confess. I have only the cold and shriveled feeling I used to call love. I have only within me this black void where light used to dwell. I shall fall to my knees before you, and this void shall consume me in death. I am not afraid of it." The words rose from within him and were almost illuminated with the purity and truth contained in them. They were cold and icy, and reminded one of icicles falling and shattering on the ground. Shitsuren dropped slowly to his knees.

"Shitsuren." Destiny tried to walk towards him, but his legs were rock solid. He was frozen to the ground with the ice that dripped from Shitsuren's voice and seemed to emanate from him. Destiny looked up at where the Phoenix hovered above him.

"Destiny, this shall continue no longer." She held out her hands, and a large sword materialized in her grasp. The blue-haired god looked at her in confusion. "For everything you have done and for everything you will do, you shall be both punished and rewarded. For the emotion you are incapable of feeling." Destiny rose off of the ground to face her. "For Shitsuren." The Phoenix put the tip of her sword against his chest. He stared into her eyes. "Sword of Fate! Protect the Dream!" As the words flowed from her lips, a light exploded from her sword. Shitsuren watched with horror as the white light cast itself over everything in the room. He shrunk from its brilliance, and covered his eyes. What was happening? Was he dying? The light quickly faded away, leaving Shitsuren feeling warm...

Shitsuren uncovered his eyes. He almost wished he hadn't. When he saw what the light had meant to conceal, he wanted to scream and cry and tear his eyes out so he would not have to gaze upon it. But somehow, the light had slowed time, or maybe the event itself had done it, so that his mind worked at a normal pace, but his body took hours to respond. Even the Phoenix and Destiny moved in this way. Or didn't move. The only movement Shitsuren could see was the Phoenix's eyes, drifting towards Destiny's, and her hair, whipping around her wings in slow motion, as she plunged her burning white sword through Destiny's chest.

Another bright light illuminated the room, and Shitsuren's voice erupted from his throat as time returned to its regular pace.

"DESTINY!" The light faded away, and Shitsuren cried out at the sight of Destiny hanging lifeless in the air. He collapsed on the floor, tinted sanguine from the Phoenix's wings, which covered the glass ceiling in its entirety. The purple of his outfit transformed into a shocking mulberry, a swirling combination of reds and violets as he laid still on the cold stone floor. He lifted his head to look once again at his lover as he floated in the red light from heaven, glittering white sparkles falling from his still form. "You could have at least told me the truth," Shitsuren began, choking on tears. "You could have at least told me you came to kill me." He took a deep breath. "I hope you can live with the blood of my heart on your hands." Shitsuren squinted his eyes shut in pain and leaned his head back. It rolled across his shoulders as he seemed to bask in the scarlet light. Maybe, if I smile and close my eyes, maybe if I pretend nothing has happened... I will wake up, and he will be here again... Here, in my arms, where he belongs, where I belong... Shitsuren forced a smile on his face. Maybe if I pretend this light is the sun... Maybe if I pretend this silence is golden... His frail body laughed as hot tears burned their way down his face. Maybe it'll all disappear if I just believe hard enough...

Suddenly, the silence that oozed from the very air in the room was broken.

"Shitsuren..." Destiny opened his eyes and looked down at Shitsuren. Shitsuren let his eyes drift open.

"Destiny..?" he gasped and held his hands over his heart.

"Shitsuren." The man smiled and his fingers twitched. Suddenly, he was jolted out of his trance and fell forward.

Destiny fell, dropping from his place in the air and into Shitsuren's arms.

"Destiny...? Are you alright?" Shitsuren wept with relief. Destiny merely nodded and gazed with half-open eyes at Shitsuren. He then directed his stare to where he had fallen from. Shitsuren turned his head and looked as well. He gasped when he saw a bright blue image of Destiny in the air. Shitsuren was suddenly panicking again. No... He didn't even want to think about what it could be. No... he can't... Searching for answers, Shitsuren looked with awe at the Destiny in his arms.

"Shitsuren..."

"Destiny, are you... are you dead?" More tears made their way down Shitsuren's face, already stained with the blacks and blues of his running makeup.

"Shitsuren, I am more alive than I have ever been." He reached up and placed his hand against Shitsuren's cheek. "Shitsuren."

"I... I don't understand." Shitsuren began to weep again.

"Shitsuren... I am... I am..." The Phoenix decided to finish his sentence for him, from where she floated above them.

"He is mortal now." Shitsuren looked up at her with shock. She smiled down on them. He looked back at Destiny.

"Shitsuren, please... forgive me..."

"Destiny!" Shitsuren embraced his lover, burying his face in Destiny's blue hair.

"Shitsuren..." Destiny whispered tenderly into his ear. "Shitsuren, I love you."

"Shitsuren! I'm confused again..." Destiny called for help with what Shitsuren said mortals called a 'sink'. "Why is it not... sinking?" Shitsuren opened the door and entered the small bathroom, where Destiny was standing, perplexed, before the ceramic contraption.

"It's not supposed to sink, silly." He reached over Destiny's shoulder and turned on the faucet.

"WOW!" Destiny stuck his hand in the stream of water and giggled like a child with a new toy. "How does it work? This is a miracle!"

"Um... I'm not quite sure how it WORKS, but it's definitely not a miracle," Shitsuren said, smiling. He draped his arms over Destiny's shoulders and kissed behind his ear. "Come on, it's late..."

"But I want to play with this!" He turned the faucets on and off. "The mortal world is so interesting! There are so many things here..." Abandoning the sink, he made his way towards the refresher. "What's this?"

"Erm... It's kinda like a big sink." Destiny stepped inside.

"What does this button do?" Destiny didn't even wait for Shitsuren's answer and pushed the green button enthusiastically. "WATER!!" Destiny giggled some more as the warm stream of water washed over him. "This is nice!"

"Get out of there..." Shitsuren took Destiny's wrist and pulled him out of the refresher. "Now look at you! Your clothes are all wet. And so is your hair." He began to unbutton Destiny's shirt. "Now you're going to have to change."

"Um... why?"

"You can't go to bed in wet clothes!" Shitsuren peeled the shirt from Destiny's back and wrung it out.

"I don't understand why I have to wear clothes to bed at all." Destiny smirked mischievously in Shitsuren's direction, and he blushed a bright red. He reached behind Destiny and turned the refresher off before walking from the room. Destiny followed him.

"We both have had a very long day..." Shitsuren said abashedly, still blushing. "I don't know about you, but I need my rest."

"Of course." Destiny threw himself down on the large, forest green bed. "I can do some more mortal world exploring tomorrow."

"Right." Shitsuren sighed and sat down on the end of the bed.

"But I know what we can do in the meantime." Destiny hung himself onto Shitsuren's shoulders and brushed his hair behind his ears.

And Shitsuren laughed.