From the Diary of Josephine Versailles

I was born on a cold, cobblestone street six blocks away from the Bastille in Paris, France. My mother was poor and on her way to see my father, who was temporarily 'staying' in jail. Now I sit, only meters away from another prison of sorts - the Jedi Temple. After a few months of fighting along side the senshi, I still don't fit in, and I am happy to just sit in my apartment and wait to be summoned to action. Not that I mind helping the Sailor Jedi, it's only that my heart is somewhere else. I miss my family. I was never close to my stepsister; as a matter of fact, I don’t know much more about Cammy than her name and age. It seems I don't plant roots.

Earlier, I listened to Annika as she told me (for the hundredth time) how she and Obi-Wan met. On a secret level, I resent Annika. I know I shouldn't, she is the future Queen of Bakura, and therefore a Queen of mine.

Annika is the reincarnation of herself. If there is one thing I've learned since meeting the Sailor Jedi, it is that strange, supernatural things always happen to them. Annika is no exception. And as I sat there, watching her smile and doodle on a piece of paper, talking about Obi-Wan, I felt a stab of resentment. Not because I wanted her, per se; rather, I wanted who she used to be. Obi-Wan came to retrieve her a short while later, and even though I enjoy her company, I was glad to see her go - I didn't know how much longer I could listen to her preach about the wonders of love. Love doesn't work out for everyone. It doesn't matter who you are, or how many credits you have, no one is safe from the bitter pill of lost love and rejection.

I know some of the senshi have mixed feelings about me... who I am. Quite frankly, I don't really care. I'm not fond of too many of them. Annika tells me that friendship is important and that I should reach out to the senshi - try to find a common ground. I told her, 'We have common ground - they don't like me, and I don't like them.'

It wasn't the most thoughtful thing to say, I know, but it's the truth. I immediately felt bad for hurting Annika's feelings, but she needs to grow a tougher skin.

This morning, I did what I usually did; watered my plants, played my cello, and moped around my apartment. I fed my fish, stroked my cat, Bubble, and flipped through the pages of a book. I live far enough away from the Jedi Temple, that I never have to see any of the senshi... and I like that. I don't need to be reminded of what I'm missing.

Annika called on the holo-phone last night to ask me if I wanted to keep her company, because Obi-Wan and Anakin had left on a mission to Oovo IV and she was lonely. It's funny - her little makeshift family. She told me they went on a picnic together, and that she was growing closer to Anakin. I'm glad for her.

All of this makes me wonder... Annika is destined for Obi-Wan. They have been together as long as I can remember (literally)... so if I'm not destined for Muren... who am I destined for?

One of the Sith attacked the second level today. I don't know which Sith it was - there are so many, I lose track. Sailors Shooting Star and Hoth easily disposed of the unneeded trouble. I'm not needed either. Not here, at any rate. Maybe I should move to another planet... fight there instead of here. Maybe I could move back to Bakura. Perhaps my desire to move has something with a certain security officer I met yesterday.

I had never met Halla Windsor, but Annika loves her. She talks about how great she is, how good she is at her job... how funny and smart she is, and after meeting her yesterday, I have to agree.

It has been so long since I've written last. I knew I would never keep up with a journal, but Annika can be very persuasive, and she had an easy time convincing me to write in this thing.

Anyway, two weeks after first meeting Halla, I can honestly say I think I'm addicted to her. That's so funny because I'm feeling things I didn't think I would ever be able to feel again. Of course, there is a down side to my feelings - what if she doesn't share them. I might 'really' not be her type.

Annika, along with Obi-Wan, my Kyudo master, Yoda, and even Annika's mother, Queen Nikana, have suggested I at least talk to Halla about my feelings. Maybe I will.

Oh! And Annika also said she wouldn't mind if I moved to Bakura for a while as long as I kept in contact. Which, for Annika, means 'call every day'. I figure I could fight injustice along the Outer Rim, although nothing is for certain yet, and I won't be leaving anytime soon, unless of course, Halla wants me to arrive sooner. Look at me! I'm like a schoolgirl! I even blushed, and I haven't blushed since back home on Earth. Madame Dubois caught me chewing gum and made me stick it in my own hair. I blushed a lot that day.

I'll write later - Bubble is demanding that I pay attention to her.

Can you feel my happiness through the paper? Can you sense my elation by osmosis from touching these pages? I didn't have to say anything to Halla; she said something to me! Here are her words, as best they can be remembered:

"I'm glad you called today, Josephine! I was hoping to hear from you."

(Hoping! She was hoping to see me!!)

"Listen, after our last conversation about former loves, I feel that I have to be honest with you. I told you I only have one ex-boyfriend... that's not true. I only have one ex... a girlfriend."

At this point, I thought for sure I would explode! (I can't believe I'm using this many exclamation points - I feel like Annika!)

I told Halla everything - that I'm a lesbian and that I've had a crush on her ever since I set eyes on her. I was so scared, but I had crossed one hurdle, so to speak, but there was still the prospect of rejection. Then, Halla blushed. SHE BLUSHED! And she said, ";That's strange," she said in her beautiful British-like accent (the same as Annika's), "Because I've had a crush on you too."

Can you see me twirling? Can you see my smile?

I have a date tonight, the first one in about four hundred years (stupid, haunting, past life memories). Annika tried to dress me in pink, but I prefer dark green. Obi-Wan offered me the use of his speeder, but I opted to walk. Halla is staying at the Jedi Temple - I can't believe I'm going there voluntarily.

Suddenly things look different to me. I'm actually looking forward to perhaps running into some of the Senshi. When I first joined the ranks of the Sailor Jedi and told Yukiko about my passion for archery, she's asked me to show her a few basics. Perhaps I should. I wonder if she'll understand the Zen of it all... many others don't understand the peace and simplicity of the bow and arrow. Something tells me that if anyone would, Yuki would.

It has been two months since I last wrote. But, so much has happened! I'm giggling as I write this and Bubble is giving me a bizarre stare, but I have a girlfriend!! Halla is so perfect, so wonderful and funny... and generous, and kind. She's too good to me!

All in all, I suppose Annika was right about Love.