Windows to the Soul

"You are so certain Sailor Chibi Mimban is Queen Aureildine?"

"Yes. I know it with all my heart and soul. Even through time our connection is strong."

"Then go, but remember your spirit will be trapped in the form you had in your past life. If what you say is true and she is Aureildine, then you will return to the form you hold now when she herself knows it to be true. However."

"However?"

"I cannot promise she will wish to return with you."

"Whatever the outcome, I am ready."

"Then fare thee well, Enkeli."

I awoke with a start, hearing a loud and incessant buzzing noise. I knew I was sitting up, but all my senses had not yet returned to me.

I looked at my surroundings and realized I was in a large bedroom with sleek, silver walls. To tell the truth, the whole room seemed hauntingly empty. Somehow I knew I belonged here. Still though, it was as if I had just laid eyes on this place for the first time.

I closed my eyes for a moment, and the image of a woman with long, orange-coloured hair flashed in my mind. I could hold her image no longer, but I could hear her voice and remembered her words clearly.

It came to be then, like the first dawn in a millenia of darkness. I was here, in Melesse's time. But one question remained. Where exactly was I?

Hey! Are you up?

That was the first time I heard her voice. I didn't know it was Melesse at first, not until I first saw her some time later, but it was what happened afterwards that gave me my first and greatest shock.

"Yes," I said.

At least I thought I said 'yes'. The voice came from me, but it was not my own. The voice I heard was small and feminine.

Good. Breakfast is gonna be ready soon, you'd better hurry before it gets cold!

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and muttered, "Alarm, off."

Upon saying this, the room now filled with silence. At least I thought it was. How I knew the alarm relied on voice command I couldn't say. I just knew, and that was that. At that moment I was so lost in myself that I think the whole building could've exploded around me and I wouldn't have noticed.

I stared down at my feet, which were tiny with the toes painted silver, and I had long pink hair falling down in pools on either side of me as I leaned over. My gaze then traced up my bare legs. I think it foolish now, but I was quite suprised that I didn't have far to go before I reached my pelvic area. Like a fool I stared down between my legs, though I could not yet place what was making me feel so strange.

With my hands I felt up from my thighs to my chest. When I did that, I noticed there was something that blocked me from simply running my hands over my chest. Make that two things.

With some measure of franticness I pulled open my nightshirt and looked down.

Breasts! I had breasts!

I quickly jumped off my bed and ran towards a seemingly smooth piece of wall to the left of me and, with the same instinct that had allowed me to know how to operate the alarm, said, "Door, open!" and part of the wall indented, creating a door which opened as I approached it.

The next thing in my line of vision was a full-length mirror, and my first look at my new form.

I was a girl. About nine or ten years of age, with long pink hair adorned with various ornaments. My eyes, however, were the same. All the same, I wasn't entirely sure of myself. What was real? Am I dreaming or am I awake? I stared into my eyes in vain, forgetting for the moment that a mirror could only reflect one's physical form, not their soul.

I turned away from the mirror. It didn't matter that I was a girl. All I needed to do was confess my love to Melesse, and all she would need to do was look into my eyes and she would know.

I dressed myself in a short red dress with long, sliced sleeves and a silver, oval-shaped gem in the middle. Then I fixed my hair ornaments and hurried to the dining room.

Wherever my mind may have been then, it wasn't on where I was going, for I ran straight into someone.

I looked up at the woman before me. She had short, silver hair and the dress she wore was made of golden netting at the top, stopping just at the top of her breasts. From then on the dress was silky black with a dragon design wrapping around it.

This was Magena.

She smiled at me, saying, "I was just about to go to your room and see if you had fallen back asleep."

I started to apologize for taking so long, but my attention was caught by a small girl wearing a similar dress to mine, except hers was yellow in colour with a smaller, ruby-like gem in the middle. Her pigtailed hair bounced as she ran up behind Magena, and there was a sparkle in her eyes that was all too familiar to me.

I think my heart stopped in the first few moments I saw my love. It was by her eyes alone that I knew her, for I stared into her soul many a time. I didn't care if she was in this form or any form. She was the other part of my soul. This I knew, and this is what would allow me to live through a thousand lifetimes to be with her.

I felt as though I had been simply looking at her for hours and that nothing at all besides us two existed. My heart was racing so fast, I thought it would burst any second. I confess my next actions were a bit ungentlemanly, but by the Force I had searched across five lifetimes to find my love! Neither the Dark Side nor the Light Side nor any force or being in all eternity could keep from her any longer.

I ran to her, embraced her, and held her tightly.

She too wrapped her arms around me. I felt so at peace. I had found the other part of my soul.

Then she said something that changed everthing, for the moment. I remember her sweet voice sounding like a flute in my head as it had done before in the bedroom...

"I love you too, big sister."

All through breakfast I was tortured by this new evidence. For the longest time I wondered if the forces were working against me, testing me, or perhaps even warning me. To that query I still have no answer, nor do I think one will ever satisfy me. I had become like a butterfly who, upon having its wings touched, could fly no more.

Or maybe it was that I refused to fly.

In battle, or my duty as the Iego Knight, or anything that gave cause to such service I could not back down from. It was in matters of my heart and soul that I was weak. I knew this truth well, yet did nothing to remedy it even though I knew it would afford me some of the happiness and peace I desired.

I scrutinize myself too often.

I knew I couldn't leave here without at least trying to convince Melesse of who she was and who I was and that we shared a deeper love than that of siblings though. I would be haunted forever if I did not.

How does a young girl explain to her younger sister that she's really the man with whom she is destined to be lovers, though?

As I've mentioned before, I wouldn't care what form she was in, her soul is what I love. I know I should've been contented just to love her and be loved by her as a sister; however, I could not. I would not waste this one chance with 'what if's and 'I should have's and so forth.

It wasn't until three days later that I decided to tell her.

I had been walking around the place as I was engaging in this contemplation when I heard Melesse's voice in my mind.

Hey! Yayoi! Come out to the courtyard, okay?

Okay, I responded.

I made my way to the courtyard and saw Melesse standing in the middle of it. She smiled at me when I appeared, ran up to me, and handed me a hard, dark blue ball. Upon doing this, she took several steps back and said, Now throw it at me as hard and as fast as you can.

"What!" I exclaimed, taken aback by this.

Throw it at me. Try to hit me.

"Ummm, do you mind if I ask why?" It wasn't in my nature to do so, but I giggled and said, "Sometimes you're too weird."

Oh! I want to do it for my Force training. I want to practice with a moving target, she said, smiling.

"Okay, but as long as we're careful."

It seemed Yayoi's personality was slowly seeping through. I myself would never do anything to risk harming a lady, especially my love, even if it meant denying her wishes. The mannerisms I was taking on of my former self came as naturaly to me as my instinct and knowledge of the house. Only now that I look upon them do I see the changes.

I also discovered that I was able to pitch a decent fast ball. I sent the ball flying in her direction, and when it was only a breath away from her nose, it stopped and remained in midair. She stared at the ball and I was forced to laugh, for it made her look cross-eyed.

She did not touch the ball, but merely tossed her head upwards a bit, and it came hurdling towards me. Instead of catching it with my hands, though, I too stopped it in midair using my Force powers.

Again this was another shock of mine that I deem silly of me. I had been talking with Melesse all this time through thought-speak, and yet I was suprised when I learned I had Force powers. I suppose I was too wrapped up in my mission at the time.

Say! Melesse said. Wanna play no-hands catch?

"Sure!" I said, and the game began.

We tossed the ball back and forth, using only the Force. We did not make it easy for each other, though. At times, I tossed it behind me or she tossed it at odd angles and so on.

I don't think I ever had so much fun! Never had I known the joys of being so carefree! In my life as Enkeli, I had had a very strict upbringing and was never allowed to play. Of all, this was the one characteristic of Yayoi's I miss the most. How wonderous it was to abandoned all the world for a silly game.

I was concentrating on the game, but I was also considering how to tell Melesse what I needed to tell her.

"Melesse, I love you," I finally said quickly.

I know. I love you too, Melesse said in her usual cheerful way, tossing the ball to me.

This time I caught it up in my hand and walked over to her.

"No. I mean I love you."

I stated this as I looked directly into her eyes, bringing all the truth of it into my own.

I - I don't understand, Yayoi. You mean like Mom and Dad love each other?

"Yes," I said, dropping the ball and taking her hands in mine, "and call me Enkeli. That is my name."

Enkeli? What are you going on about, Yayoi?

"Listen to me. I was once Yayoi, but now I am only using her as I guise to be with you. I am and am not your sister."

She stared into my eyes, and I saw that she knew I was not speaking falsely. I knew it, but she was clearly still confused about it all.

Who am I? she asked.

"You are the one I love..."

Saying this, I leaned over and kissed her on the full on the mouth, closing my eyes. I do not know what possessed me to act as I did, but I went with it. I had started running down a steep hill and could not stop.

After a few precious moments I heard a gasp behind me, and Melesse quickly withdrew from the kiss.

I turned to see Magena standing a little distance from her. She had a look of suprised acceptance on her face, as if she knew this was meant to happen. For that reason or her own, she did not move or speak.

I looked back to Melesse and said in an eager tone, "Look within yourself. Look to the future. Not the everchanging destiny of the universe, but of your own, true destiny."

She cast her eyes down a moment, then closed her eyes.

I know not what she saw, but after a long minute her eyes opened and she said, I am Aurieldine. I am the queen of Iego and future wife to you, Enkeli, the Iego Knight.

A glowing white cloud outlined me like an aura, and I released her hands and walked away from her backwards.

"Now that you know who you are, I hope you will come back with me. You are needed by me and by your people."

She smiled softly and whispered, I am needed here too. Can't you stay here with me?

The cloud now became solid light, and I only a vague outline.

"I wish I could, but my time here is running out. If you will come with me, It must be now."

She was silent a moment, and, after a while, said, I'm sorry. I do love you, but I must stay here. I've yet to live out this life. You will always be in my heart, Enkeli.

"There can be no greater heaven than your heart. Be happy and I will be content. I must return now."

The light now became blinding, and I was lost in it. Within that light I could feel myself changed. My body became longer and broader, and the pink of my hair shook away like water, giving away to white. The dress and shoes I was wearing also disappeared in this fashion.

When the tranformation was finished, I fell out of the light like it was a portal, and it dissapated behind me.

Below me, I felt grass. I looked before me, all the while lying on my stomach. I saw those tiny red shoes, followed those legs up to that yellow dress, and was quickly met by her eyes when she squatted down.

"Melesse?" I said, unsure of myself.

I sat up, my hair falling down and covering any controversal parts. I was perplexed. I thought I was supposed to return to my own time if Melesse did not accept.

She got up, ran over to me, and wrapped her arms around me.

I'm glad you decided to stay.

You're just going to love Enkeli! I heard Melesse thought-speak to a group of people as I came down the stairs.

They all stopped and stared, each with an uncertain look on their faces.

It was a girl with strange braids whose name I later learned was Priire who conveyed what they were all thinking.

"Ummm, Melesse? Didn't you say Enkeli was a guy?"

Melesse, who had had her back to me, began to say as she turned towards me, Yeah, how c-

She paused to look me over and then asked, Enkeli, why are you wearing a dress?

I was clad in a purple dress that had long pieces hanging from the sleeves that looked like wings when I lifted my arms. The rest of the dress was tight and had a black sash around the middle that was tied in a large bow in the back; the chest area was green with black outline, and my hair was up in a high ponytail. I was even wearing make-up.

I smiled and explained, "Well, I kind of got to liking wearing women's clothing after being your sister for that time."

She simply shook her head and laughed, then lead me into the crowed to meet her friends...