The Chasm

Written by Chakra Ramahoshi/Sailor Chibi Dathomir

The soft sound of a tiny ringing bell was the only thing Chakra's senses could pick up... it was odd...

Why is it so dark here? thought Chakra, her mind a little blurry. Why am I so cold?

She could see nothing... not even her own hand in front of her face. Nothing but an endless sea of black, colorless surroundings that haunted her every thought. What was this place?

A point of light suddenly broke the blackness, coming from directly above her. Chakra figured it was a way out of this dismal place. But as soon as it had come... it left.

A stabbing fear took hold of her. Was she to be left here forever? Alone, afraid... Chakra wanted to reach out for someone, anyone... but no one was there to reach out to. No one was there... no one, never, no, not again, contact denied.

Chakra's breathing became shallow and quick. She was paralyzed with terror as an emotionless, robotic voice echoed around her.

Chakra was scared beyond all belief. She wanted to scream... but no sound came out.

A faint glow appeared beside her, and Chakra turned to see the ethereally beautiful form of Annika Nesicha. She looked... sad... a very unusual emotion on the normally cheerful princess.

"Oh, Chakra..." Annika said in a forlorn voice. "And I thought you were responsible. I thought you would protect Her. I thought you were a good girl."

Chakra shook her head. "No... please tell me, Miss Annika, I do not understand..."

"You were supposed to be the one to change things. And you spent your time crying, crying all the time," Annika said.

But Annika held up a hand to Chakra... then reached over and pulled something off of her neck... the necklace that she had given her... the one with Annika's ring on the end. And then the image faded. Chakra was left confused and upset. The cold, mechanical voice returned.

"We never liked you... you're always such a baby." Kairi-chan said with a cold glare.

"You couldn't even take responsibility for yourself, Chakra! And soon, you won't be able to save Her!" Suta said nastily.

"And what's worse..." Kairi-chan leaned in close. "You were always jealous of Her... you probably wanted Her to die!"

Chakra shrieked, and her voice was that of a woman's, a woman with an innocent child's mind, yet somehow grown, two minds melded, each making the other ill-equipped to handle what was being said. Her soul was in torment. "No! How can you say that to me, Sutaru, Kairiku!! You are my friends! You knew how I felt, you knew I loved Her just as much! I didn't know it would happen then, I could not stop it! Please, Suta-chan, Kairi-chan, PLEASE!"

Chakra felt hysterical. Thoughts ran through her head, thoughts too complex to comprehend. She felt as if she should stand up to this, that it was too surreal to be real... yet another part of her wanted to cower away, be comforted.

It was a masculine, attractive voice she had never heard before, yet sounded familiar... but when she went to face it, all she saw was... Anakin. Then whose voice had that been?

"Aren't you supposed to take care of yourself now?" Anakin asked, his voice now his own.

"You cannot interfere anymore. It's set in stone what She lives for." Anakin's boyishly handsome face vanished then.

Chakra wished she were dead. So many failures, so much to atone for... and she had no idea why, or how... she set to crying again, the previous mentality coming down to a little girl's once more.

"I can't believe you're still here," came an accented voice, deep and soothing even through its incredulous tone.

"Obi-Wan!" Chakra cried gratefully. "You know I did not mean to do it! You know I am a good girl! You know I would never intentionally let Her die!"

"They're both dead because of you, Chakra," Obi-Wan said with a shake of his head. "And dead is forever."

It was over now... she would find a way... prayed for a way for this abyss to take her. She would never again regain her friends... she would never know love... and she killed them. Her failure was tied and true. Sobs escaped small, big, Chakra Ramahoshi... until...

She turned again to see Nom, her mother, her safeguard, her one Absolution. "Mama!"

Nom pulled away, looking disgusted. "You are no child of mine!" She turned her back, turned away, no one, never, no, not again -

Nom Da'Gara had prided herself on mastering fear. She was strong, capable, her emotions in check. But even all of her training could not reverse the bone-chilling terror that wrapped around her heart as she watched her small future daughter thrash on her bed, trying to shake off the talons of a nightmare that would not let her go.

Eventually Nom pinned the child to the bed, praying to the Force that she would awaken... and with whatever mercy Nom had asked for, Chakra finally opened her eyes. They snapped open quickly, and Nom could see they were tear-streaked and afraid. Chakra breathed heavily, looking around the room, getting oriented. "Mama?" she asked.

"Here... I am here..." Nom said, touching her hand to Chakra's cheek. "What is it? What happened?"

Chakra stared up at her, then her lip trembled and she sobbed all over again. "Mama, Mama, I'm a failure, I am no good as a daughter... I cannot change anything, not a thing... what I came back to do... they will all die all die because of me, me..."

"The Queen. The Queen will die." Chakra sniffed. "I thought... I thought I could help her."

Suddenly, her demeanor changed. The tears seemed to stop welling in her eyes, and she set her jaw. "I will help her," Chakra said firmly with a strong look in her eyes. But then, a shift... tears sprung to her eyes again. "But I can't!! And everyone will hate me!"

"Stop this! No one hates you!" Nom cried. "Chakra... you can only do your duty to the best of your ability. Sometimes you cannot change Fate. Everyone understands that... no one could hold that against you..."

"But I was supposed to!" Chakra wailed. Then her crying stopped just as quickly as it had started up again. She looked at Nom with a calm face. "But I guess you are right, Mother."

Mother? Something about the way Chakra was acting did not set right with Nom. True, Chakra was always very emotional, a drastic difference from herself... but it was like... it was like something was trying to overcome the emotion... push it away. One minute she was hysterical, the next, collected. And "Mother"... the use of "Mother" instead of her normal "Mama" made Chakra sound like...

A brief picture of Sailor Chibi Dathomir crossed Nom's mind. She shook her head, and looked back at her daughter, who was getting off of the bed, aiming to get dressed.

Nom Da'Gara simply stared at her for a few minutes, then reluctantly turned and walked out of the room.

"Guys, I'm so bored it's not even funny," said Sutaru, flinging herself onto a couch in the Room Behind the Waterfall. "We have GOT to do something today."

"Yeah... I suppose you're right," said Kairi-chan, flipping through a magazine. Anakin sat on the edge of a chair, eating an apple. It was one of his only days off from training, and he wanted to spend it with Kairiku. Melesse was nearby as well, lying with her hands behind her head.

It IS only morning, you know, she pointed out. We have all day to find something to do.

Sutaru grinned. "Yeah, but I'm bored now. Come on, let's go get some money and go out for breakfast."

"That's all right!" said Kairi-chan brightly. "We can ask her and Kyoko if they want to come along."

Suddenly, Chakra came down the stairs. The nine-year-old looked a little worn, a little pale. She walked quietly over to a chair and sat down, staring off into nowhere. Sutaru furrowed her brow and looked at Kairi-chan and Anakin, both of whom had no idea what was up.

Well, we've got just the thing for you, said Melesse. Come to breakfast with us! That'll perk you up!

Chakra looked at them for a moment, then shook her head. "I am sorry. I would rather not."

Anakin looked really worried, and he went over to Chakra, ruffling her hair, trying to get some response out of her. "Are you going to be ok, Cha-Cha? Maybe you shouldn't stay here alone. You should probably come out with us."

"Well, yeah... but sitting around isn't good for you anyway. Come on. Come to breakfast with us."

Chakra looked up at Anakin, then to Kairi-chan, who grinned, then to Melesse and Suta, who both stood up nodded. How she hoped that this, this friendship, would not change... would it change? Of course not... yet...

"The food here is supposed to be really good," said Kyoko, sitting in a booth with Kairiku, Sutaru, Melesse, Magena, Anakin, and a very quiet Chakra. They were at a restaurant in the Senate district, one that was small but reputed to be a great place to eat.

"So I've heard," said Magena with a grin. "So, how's training coming along, Anakin?" the silver-haired woman queried, making conversation.

"Very well, thank you," said Anakin. "Obi-Wan is a wonderful master. He was nice enough to give me today off, too. I'm glad I took it." He looked over at Kairi-chan, who blushed slightly. Sutaru hid a grin, and Kyoko and Magena exchanged small smiles. They were so cute.

Chakra, however, seemed oblivious. The brown-haired Melesse noticed. You know, Chakra... if you do not feel well, maybe you should go home, she said, concerned.

"What? Oh. No, I am fine. Sorry," Chakra said. Melesse did not believe her. Chakra looked so hollow... so empty.

Suddenly, there was a small rumbling. The plates rattled; light fixtures shook. Everyone looked around wildly, a panic rising in the occupants of the restaurant.

"I'm not sure!" said Kyoko. "Everyone, stay low! Cover your heads - something could fall!"

The rumbling increased. Even the stoic Chakra looked around in surprise, hiding underneath the table with Sutaru, Kairiku, Anakin and Melesse.

"Oh my God! What is THAT?!" a voice cried out in fear. Up from out of the ground came the form of a woman - only she had no legs, only a mysterious fog. Her eyes were blood red, the only spot of color on her gray body.

"I am the spirit of this region of time-space... I am tired of watching you infiltrate my home... I shall make you pay!" She held out one ghostly hand and shot an energy pulse at a nearby counter, smashing it to bits. There were screams of terror, people trying to run as the demon continued her attack.

Anakin watched them all get up and run, heading for the back of the restaurant, where they could transform. Only Chakra remained.

"I am a senshi," Chakra repeated after a pause. "I... am a senshi. And I must not be weak. Why am I so weak? Why do I not understand..."

Anakin looked at Chakra with a worried gaze. "Chakra? What's wrong with you?!" She was not acting like herself... her voice... though it sounded like a nine-year old's... it also sounded too old... too mature to be her own...

Very suddenly, and without answering Anakin, Chakra dashed away to the back of the restaurant.

With a surge of power, light, and pixillation, the senshi were in full fuku and ready to roll. Sailor Naboo led the group out to the restaurant, where Anakin was fending it off by using the Force and flinging one object after another at it in a never-ending rain of plates, chairs and silverware.

"We'll take it from here! We are Sailor Senshi of Justice, here to punish you!" Sailor Naboo cried. "For the Force, I am Sailor Naboo!"

The demon did not respond in the way the senshi would have preferred. She charged them, scattering them apart. Chibi Mimban leapt away, doing a back-flip and landing with precision. Oh no you don't! She took a running start, then used her attack. Mimban Scream of Silence!

The demon was dodging the attacks, becoming more and more volatile by the moment. Several times, the senshi were almost hit... one time, Chibi Naboo wasn't so lucky.

The demon was rushing them again, preparing to send an energy pulse. The senshi scattered... but the demon made an abrupt veer, right toward Chibi Naboo...

Chibi Dathomir saw it coming and tried to intervene. "Chibi Naboo! Look out!" She ran, hoping to push the young senshi out of the way... but the demon got Chibi Naboo, shooting her with a sparkling shock of energy.

Chibi Dathomir was frozen in horror as she watched the stunned Chibi Naboo fall to the ground. She was paralyzed with fear for her friend... Failure, failure, failure... you saw it coming, you did nothing, just like what's coming, just like what's coming...

The demon advanced on Chibi Dathomir... but she was too afraid to do anything... she was scared... what could she possibly do against this creature?

A stabbing pain shot through Chibi Dathomir's stomach as the demon shot another energy pulse, this time directed at her. She clutched her torso, crying now in fear and in pain.

"Chibi Dathomir! Kaiburr Crystal Reform!" cried Sailor Mimban then, sending the creature spiraling away with the momentous force of her crystallized attack. The silver-haired senshi ran over to her comrade. "Are you all right??"

"You will pay!" cried Sailor Naboo suddenly, after easing Sailor Chibi Naboo's pain as much as she could. "You cannot defile us! Jewel of Zenda, Blast!!"

The creature, already worn from Mimban's attack, dissolved under the glare of Naboo's oncoming attack. The air sizzled where she had vanished. Sailors Corellia and Chibi Mimban came over, looking concerned for the two injured senshi.

"I'm okay," said Chibi Naboo, getting up. "Really, Sailor Naboo, I'm all right." The odangoed girl smiled at her blue-haired counterpart who was standing over her protectively.

Chibi Dathomir was unsettlingly silent. She seemed to be staring off into oblivion... unnoticing.

Chibi Dathomir turned to her friends. "It... it is all happening," she said in a small, child-like voice, unfitting her womanly form. "I... I am not a true senshi... I cannot even protect my friends..."

Chibi Naboo looked surprised. "Chibi Dathomir, it's okay... no one knew what that demon was going to do..."

"Chibi Dathomir, that thing swerved so fast, no one could react in time," said Sailor Naboo gently.

"No! I saw it coming! Just like I see Her destruction!" Chibi Dathomir wailed. " And I cannot do anything! I will LET HER DIE!" She moved forward. "An innocent life! And... and all of my friends, my family... they will know, they will know what I knew and I will be to blame! I will lose everything!"

Chibi Dathomir ceased weeping nearly on the spot. She stared at Corellia for a moment. "Of course, I'm being silly."

Anakin emerged suddenly from one of the back rooms, looking around wildly at the damage done. "Wow... you guys really did it huh... well -" He paused. "Hey... Cha-cha, are you okay?" Anakin had an affinity for the Force... and Chibi Dathomir was causing quite a disturbance... Anakin was feeling it the strongest. Like a tear... a chasm.

Chibi Dathomir started up again. "I am okay..." she said tearfully. "Please do not concern yourself!"

Anakin looked at Chibi Dathomir in shock. Such emotion! It was too erratic... suddenly, something else caught his attention too, something that caused him to be just as worried. Chibi Naboo was clutching her stomach. "Oh, Kairiku!" he said, going to her. "Are you hurt?? What did that thing do to you?!"

"I'm fine, Anakin... thanks... it's just a scratch, really..." The blow had affected her more than anything, really, and she was just getting her wind back.

But to another member of the party, it was as if Chibi Naboo was dying. Chibi Dathomir winced and looked away. All her fault, all her fault... Chibi Naboo, her friend, was injured, and it was All. Her. Fault.

No wonder they hate me! thought Chibi Dathomir sadly. No wonder I will let Her down! A pause... You will do no such thing. Chibi Dathomir was being calmed by another voice, oddly separate yet somehow her own. But no matter how much this "other voice" tried to comfort, its counterpart overrode it. You must understand - no! I will let them all down! But, what if - no, I will simply cause them all such pain!

The senshi and Anakin looked surprised and a little frightened. "Chakra, what's wrong?" asked Sailor Naboo.

"I can't! I can't!" Chibi Dathomir ran toward the entrance of the diner, flinging herself away from everything, going as fast as she could.

"Chakra! Chibi Dathomir! Wait!!" The senshi tried to follow, but just as they moved to go to the entrance, the ceiling collapsed, and they all had to drop in fear of injury. When the pieces stopped falling and the dust cleared, the senshi and the Padawan got up and frantically ran to the door... but it was too late. Sailor Chibi Dathomir was long gone. And they had no way of knowing which way she went.

But we do not know where she went! said Chibi Mimban, getting tears in her brown eyes. She's gonna get hurt!

"We have to look for her... but not on foot, not like this," Sailor Naboo said. "We should go back to the Room and tell everyone. We can perform an aerial search that way too... with our ships..."

"Right..." said Corellia, who was comforting the teary-eyed Chibi Mimban, though she and Chibi Naboo were just as upset, but controlling it better. What had happened to their friend? "Let's go!"

Chakra ran, ran to get away from everything, pushed herself as hard as she could possibly go. Everything was falling down around her... everything...

Some people were alarmed by the sight of the Sailor Senshi running as if heading to an emergency... some tried to follow, but most couldn't keep up with the woman's frantic pace. Sailor Chibi Dathomir kept going... ever faster...

Why was she doomed to this fate? Why couldn't she help anyone? Wasn't she supposed to be the one to change everything? Everything and more?

Eventually, Chibi Dathomir came to a deserted park, a fountain streaming in the middle of the circular area. The physical strain which she put herself under suddenly caught up with her, and Chibi Dathomir collapsed to the ground, unable to run, much less stand, anymore.

The last thing she saw before her eyes fluttered shut was her mother's face... her beautiful, strong mother... and how she had let her down...

Somebody help me... help me, please... I do not want to feel this way anymore... help me, Mama... Obi-Wan... Annika... Father? Father? You too? Have I failed you, too?

When the senshi had powered down and got back to the Room to inform everyone, Nom Da'Gara was the first one out the door and into her ship. The rest of the girls broke into teams, heading in different directions, some going to the spot where Chibi Dathomir had first run off so they could search on foot, others pairing off and heading to their ships so they could search by air.

It took a little while, but eventually Priire and Xarae, in Priire's Black Fire Dreamer, discovered Chakra, now powered down and a little girl again, laying unconcious in the deserted park. The two women docked as near as they could to the park and made their way to Chakra... praying that she was still alive.

Xarae touched one slender hand to the girl's mouth, then to her neck. "Yes. She's alive... but... she's in a coma..."

Priire was severely reminded of when she was mentally traumatized, and retreated to a coma to protect herself. Could that have happened to Chakra? "What's wrong with her, Xarae?"

"I don't know..." Xarae picked the small girl up gently, looking at her with worry. "But... she's in trouble. Her mind rages..."

Priire stepped closer to Xarae, looking at Chakra Ramahoshi with an unreadable expression. Then, in a display of affection not usually common to her, Priire grabbed the little girl's hand in both of her own. "You helped me through, Chakra... now you have to help yourself. You hear me? Please try to help yourself..."

A very small group of people stood by Chakra's bed in her and Nom's quarters that afternoon. Chakra lay, still unconscious, while her mother sat beside her, trying to think of some logical conclusion as to why her daughter would be slowly losing her mind. Obi-Wan, who had become Chakra's only father figure, stood beside the bed, contemplating as well. And Annika, who loved Chakra like a daughter, stood beside Nom, ready to offer comfort, ready to help in any way she could, even though she was very upset herself.

A few moments later, Master Yoda and Master Mace Windu entered the room, causing all three to look up sharply. Nom stood, going over to Mace Windu. Her face was dead calm, but anyone with Force-sense could see the emotion underneath the gaze... the worry and the love-fear for her daughter. "Please," she asked, very quietly, very firmly. "Please help my daughter."

Master Windu patted her arm and moved to the bed. Yoda moved to a low-lying chair, sitting down and looking at Chakra Ramahoshi carefully. "Quiet, you will be," he said to the group, not looking up at them. The two Jedi Masters shut their eyes and breathed deeply, trying to see through the Force what was ailing the child.

Minutes passed; Nom became restless. She stood up from her spot at the edge of the bed and was almost ready to start pacing if Annkia hadn't laid a firm hand on her arm, looking at her with a searching gaze. Nom faltered and sat back down, no less restless then she previously had been. Thankfully, the Jedi Masters both opened their eyes after only a few more moments.

"Chakra becomes an adult when she is a senshi, am I correct?" asked Master Windu, then.

Mace nodded and stood. "Basically, your daughter has two conflicting mentalities. One of a nine-year old girl, and one of a twenty two year old woman."

"Big, the gap is, between girl and woman," said Yoda. "Think differently, they do."

"The adult mind has a different thought pattern than a child's, you see," Master Windu explained. "They are able to perceive the more complex, think about things in a different manner than a child would. They analyze differently, act differently."

"Chakra thinks as an adult as a senshi, she does..." said Yoda, looking up at them with his sleepy eyes. "But when a senshi she is no longer..."

"Correct. But she retains all of the thoughts of her adult form. Basically, Chakra analyzes complex situations in a complex manner, and then when her nine-year-old form tries to process it, she has a tough time."

"Building up to this, she has been," Yoda said. "Coming out now, violently, it is."

"But she has been repeating that she has failed," Nom said. "Why is she so fixated on it?"

"It is the outlet that the confusion in her mind is using to release itself," Master Windu said. "She is naturally afraid of failure, especially failing those around her, and it has just become amplified through this mental trouble."

"A bridge can be made," said Yoda, nodding once. "Make it easier for her, it will. Done it we have..."

"But -" Master Windu walked over to Nom. "If Chakra continues to believe she is a failure, then what we have done for her will not take effect. You must convince her. Just tell her that you don't think her a failure."

Nom Da'Gara nodded once and looked back at the still sleeping Chakra. Mace Windu waved one hand in the air, and she began to stir. He and Master Yoda both left. While Chakra rose from slumber, the door opened again to reveal Sutaru, Kairiku and Anakin coming in hesitantly.

Chakra's eyes opened then. She blinked a few times and looked around the room. "Wh... what happened?" she asked in a small voice.

Chakra blinked up at her mother, then remembered what had gone on that morning. "Because I ran away..." She bowed her head.

"Oh, Chakra, it's okay... you just weren't feeling well, that's all," said Kairi-chan.

"Chakra, that is not true," said Nom firmly. "And I will have no more self-loathing from my only daughter."

"But it is true, Mama." Chakra let a shaky sigh escape her, then took the necklace that Annika had given her, the one with the ring, off of her neck. "Miss Annika..." Chakra said. Annika, looking very troubled, moved toward her. Chakra held the necklace out. "Please," she said, tearfully, "Miss Annika, give this to someone who deserves it. Someone who will not fail."

Nom was about to say something, but Annika looked at her, asking with her eyes if she could talk to Chakra. Hesitantly, Nom agreed with a nod.

Annika went and knelt next to the bed. "You know, Chakra... this ring is a treasure to me." Chakra looked up at her, curious through her anxiety. "And... I never would have given it to someone who was unworthy."

Obi-Wan stepped forward next, touching the young girl's shoulder. "That's right. You aren't unworthy, Chakra. You are a fine senshi and a good student... and I am proud of you." He smiled at her, which made Chakra feel better by leaps and bounds... almost back to herself... almost...

Kairiku, Anakin and Sutaru moved to the foot of the bed, grinning. "Don't give up, Chakra!"

Chakra smiled, smiled and started to cry in gratitude over her friends' displays of affection. She turned her eyes then upon her mother... the one who she needed to hear encouragement from the most, perhaps...

Nom smiled, softly. "I am very proud of you, Daughter. No matter what, I will always be on your side. You are not a failure. You are my pride. I know you try your hardest, I know you do your best. I... I hope you know that always, Chakra."

It took a moment or two for these words to sink in... those visions were wrong... this is real...

Chakra, so very emotional, so very much unlike her mother, threw her arms around the Dathomiran and hugged her with joy.

Perhaps she had been wrong to doubt them. Perhaps she could find a way yet to succeed in her mission. They knew she would try. They knew she would try for all she was worth...

But for now... Chakra was sated. She had heard all she needed to hear. And the confusion that had clouded her mind for so long now was suddenly lifted, like a veil from over her eyes.

About the Senshi in this story:

Chakra/Sailor Chibi Dathomir
Annika/Sailor Bakura
Sutaru/Sailor Corellia
Kairiku/Sailor Chibi Naboo
Nom/Sailor Dathomir
Melesse/Sailor Chibi Mimban
Magena/Sailor Mimban
Kyoko/Sailor Naboo
Priire/Sailor Asteroid
Xarae/Sailor Iridonia