Shadows and Lights, Secrets and Lies

Written by Annika Nesicha/Sailor Bakura

Prelude

"Annika, don't do this! Please! She's my daughter!" Prince Kishi begged. He dropped to his knees with his hands clasped before his heart.

"I have no choice..." Sailor Bakura whispered. She stood in a circle of some of her closest friends - all Sailor Jedi. A long sceptre materialised in her hands, and as she closed her eyes, it began to glow.

"Mama! Stop!!" Ame yelled. The eight-year-old girl ran from her hiding place and grabbed the sceptre. She screamed.

Shadows and Lights

Some birthday, Ame thought bitterly. She had been secluded in her bedroom for three weeks. She made excuses not to see her mother, excuses not to see her Uncle, excuses not to see her cousin. She even missed saying goodbye to Kayla. Ame wanted to see her cousin one more time before she left, but thanks to Annika, nothing would ever be the same.

Reaching her under pillow, she withdrew the picture she stole from her mother's room. Tears stung her eyes as she studied the happy couple. They were happy even though they weren't the couple getting married. Ame wondered how long they stayed happy.

When Ame read the black diary, she discovered several things she didn't want to know. Now she was the owner of too many horrible thoughts and feelings. Yet overall, she was better for knowing the truth. The truth about her mother... she knew the couple in the photo was her mother and Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. They attended the nuptials of a close friend... they looked so very happy...

The maid, Grace, opened the door to the Princess' room and placed a tray next to her bed.

"Thank you, Grace. You may leave now," Ame said sadly. She flopped back on her bed and eyed the picture again.

"No wonder she hates me," the little girl sighed. The sharp pains in her stomach grew stronger as the aromas from her dinner gently wafted to her attention. Several covered dishes sat elegantly on the silver tray. Lifting the lid off one entree, she found steamed Bakuran water vegetables. She lifted another to find... a note.

A piece of small white paper lay folded on a circle of white lace surrounded by red rose petals. Her small fingers trembled as she opened it.

"Seiyaku..." Ame whispered. The name of the man with black hair and blue eyes. She had read the diary, and she was beginning to regret it. Reacting from a mixture of anger and frustration, she crumpled the note and the picture of Annika and Obi-Wan. Then and there, she made a vow not to care about any of them again.

A few months later brought the arrival of Ame's sisters, Lys and Lysthea. Priire was right; Annika did have more than one. They were small and delicate - their hair was as fine as spun sugar and their skin was powder soft.

The pink-haired girl lowered her head, "No. All I can do is sense feelings like my ma- like Annika." She looked at her sisters and suddenly envied them.

"Ame!" Annika gasped as she entered the nursery. Mother and daughter hadn't seen each other in over a month. The Queen had decided to give Ame space, give her time to sort out her feelings. She didn't know that Ame knew some of her deepest secrets, and that was the reason Ame was avoiding her.

A movement so slight as not to be seen by anyone, Kendra used the Force to knock a frame from its resting place, shattering it into tiny pieces. Kendra seized Ame's hand and the two ran from the room, never looking back, even as Annika called for them to stop. Through the gardens, Kendra led Ame down several twisting paths until they reached a private area.

"You're welcome, but getting away from the Queen was an excuse to bring you here. I wanted to show you something," she smiled slyly. Ame wasn't sure about what Kendra was going to do, but she knew it was going to be spectacular. She watched as her red- and white-haired cousin gathered four flower petals before sitting down on the warm ground.

Ame never realised how beautiful Bakura was in the spring. It rained so much on the planet, she rarely ventured further than the immediate grounds, but here in this place... it was magic. The trees were ripe with new leaves, and the month of May always brought the roses into bloom. Ame paid close attention to Kendra as she placed all four flower petals into her small hand. They were hidden as the little girl's fingers closed. Kendra quickly tossed the petals into the air and when they fell, they had multiplied. Thousands of tiny petals rained upon the now giggling cousins.

"How are you doing this?" asked an amazed Ame. She had cupped her hands to collect the tiny miracles.

"It's magic," Kendra happily answered. The sparkle in Ame's eyes told that her joy was pure and honest. She hadn't been this happy since her birthday and hoped this feeling would not end. A tug caught her heart, and she jerked her head towards a large group of trees.

Ame stood and walked in the direction her heart was pulling. She could clearly see a moving shadow, and she knew who it was. Seiyaku. He was still watching her... still hovering nearby. Ame's heart split. She was happy her mother's guards had missed him, and yet horrified that he was so close. Her instinct was to get closer to him, but instead she backed away and ran to the palace with Kendra fast on her heels.

An out-of-breath Kendra asked, "What was that all about? I wanted to show you something else!"

"Oh. Okay! I can show you in here anyway! Come on!!" Once more Kendra grabbed Ame's hand and led her around. They ended up in the darkest part of the palace... the part that scared Annika. Talk of ghosts always scared Annika.

Kendra opened a large door so Ame could see the secret place that she loved more than anything. Ame drew in her breath when she saw the ornate decorations and elaborate carved statues. A large mirror held centre stage, and its reflection cast a forbidden pallor over the wooden floorboards. Several toys sat silently staring with their eyes gouged out. Black curtains draped over the walls, and the room was oozing with something elusive... and something terrifying.

"It's one of the old Temple rooms. The older Bakuran Queens worshipped the gods and goddesses here. Of course, I've done some much needed redecorating!" Kendra smiled. In the dim light, her teeth resembled fangs, and Ame was scared.

Kendra was different from the little girl outside in the garden. Her whole demeanour had changed, she was no longer sweet and innocent... in this room, where the shadows danced to a tuneless waltz, Kendra was almost evil.

"Well?" Kendra asked, "What do you think? I was hoping you'd like it! Maybe this can be our new secret!"

"Who cares? You're with me! We're best friends. I thought you hated your mother anyway. It's more fun down here! We can do whatever we want and never get in trouble!"

Tears moistened Ame's eyes. She wasn't used to this sort of feeling; it felt bad, and she knew she shouldn't be here. Kendra also sensed Ame's feelings, but was confused.

"I'm sorry, Ame. Don't cry or anything. Crying is for babies! I wouldn't have brought you down here if I had known you'd be scared."

Wiping her tears on her sleeve, Ame said, "That's okay. I just didn't know this place existed."

"Let's go. We'll play something else, all right?" a smile spread across Kendra's cherubic face and Ame relaxed. The two bounded up the stairs into the bright sunlight of midday.

Time always flies when you've no worries, and before long Ame was six years old, then seven, then eight. And her sisters were three. They took pleasure in using the Force to move blocks into stacks and to levitate cookies to their awaiting mouths - a skill both Annika and Ame envied.

In that time, Kayla had tried to teach Ame the trick to aging rapidly, but failed. Ame was hopelessly Force-clumsy; she did, however, master the raining flower petals. She could also make small pink clouds appear and disappear at will. Ame had also decided to stop avoiding Annika, but they rarely talked. Annika would try, but Ame resisted her tries at good parenting.

Seiyaku had still been watching Ame... she could feel his presence. So could Annika. Ame would see her mother look to the window for no reason and sigh heavily.

It was a cold day one October when chaos descended upon the Royal Palace. UsaNeko had chased a mouse to the dungeons and found Kendra's shadowy room. The Queen immediately investigated and was mortified to find the answer. For some time, Annika and everyone who visited the palace felt dark energy emanating from nearby. Only no one was sure what or where it was. It wasn't until UsaNeko reported her discovery, and a thorough reading was done, that the horrible truth was brought to light.

Kendra had been using the Dark Side. It was always a mystery why Lys and Lysthea cried when ever their cousin was around, but now it was obvious. There was only one thing Annika could do - she summoned her friends.

Priire, Chikako, Minae, Kirana and Kyoko came immediately. It was Priire who made the connection between Annika's niece and the Evil Queen Kendra that they had fought against as Sailor Jedi. At first Annika thought it was a ridiculous notion, until she saw the mirror kept in the old temple room. It was the same one the Sith Queen possessed.

"Either way, the power is coming from that mirror... we have to destroy it," Annika remarked.

A voice from the opposite side of the room spoke, "If you do that, you'll kill Kendra." Prince Kishi sauntered to his sister and smirked. "Didn't think I knew, did you? Didn't think I was involved, did you? You're so naïve, Annika. I should be ruling this planet... and soon I'll rule the entire universe."

"No... I'll be ruling the entire universe." Kendra's tiny voice echoed around the walls. She stepped from behind her father and grinned. Annika gasped, Priire cursed, and Chikako bit her lip.

Ame arrived just in time to hide behind a large statue as her mother magnificently transformed into Eternal Sailor Bakura. Following suit, Priire became Sailor Asteroid, Kyoko - Sailor Naboo, Chikako - Sailor Myrkr, Minae - Sailor Honoghr, and Kirana - Sailor Omwat.

Kendra, Kishi, and Ame were in shock; no one knew if the Sailor Jedi even existed, but here were six of them, standing proudly, fighting for Love and Justice.

"I won't allow Kendra to die, not this time!" Sailor Bakura said. Kishi knew the power of the Sailor Jedi was great indeed - he had been told the stories as a teenager, he knew they were rumoured to actually exist, and he was afraid. He realised his time was up.

"Annika, don't do this! Please! She's my daughter!" Prince Kishi begged. He dropped to his knees with his hands clasped before his heart.

"I have no choice..." Sailor Bakura whispered. She stood in a circle of some of her closest friends - all Sailor Jedi. A long sceptre materialised in her hands as she closed her eyes, and it began to glow.

"Mama! Stop!!" Ame yelled. The eight-year-old girl ran from her hiding place and grabbed the sceptre. She screamed.

Showers of gold and pink light flooded the room, and Annika watched as her daughter transformed into a Sailor Jedi. Her fuku was almost all white with the occasional spatter of pink. She carried a small wand.

"I am Sailor Chibi Serenity! And I will not allow you to kill my best friend!" Ame assumed a defensive stance. Annika saw the terror and hatred in her eyes, and she knew her daughter would turn on her if she had to.

The room turned to see a tall man with black hair and blue eyes standing in the doorway. Sailor Bakura lowered her sceptre. The man walked over to her and touched her face.

"You have not changed at all, Annika. You're still as beautiful as the day I first gazed upon you."

He walked over to Chibi Serenity and placed his hand on her shoulder. A silent conversation took place between their eyes, and the little girl stood down.

Suddenly, Kendra attacked. She sent black lightning racing towards Sailor Myrkr, but Priire was faster with her attack, and Kendra was knocked to the ground. The Sailors once again raised themselves and prepared to rescue Kendra from evil and get rid of the mirror once and for all.

All together, the six senshi whispered, "Thread of Heaven... Attack!" Different coloured lights poured into Kendra's body. The little girl fell to the floor and convulsed. She raised her hands in Ame's direction.

"Kendra!!!!" she screamed. She started to run for her but was held back by Seiyaku.

"Don't listen to her, she's lying. This is helping her. You have to believe, Ame."

One more scream of pain from Kendra was all Ame could handle. She rushed forward and raised her wand to the sky. Saying a small prayer, a black hole swirling with pink clouds opened and swallowed Kendra's body. Kishi ran from the room, with Seiyaku chasing after him.

Eternal Sailor Bakura collapsed at Ame's feet. "Why did you do that? We were helping her!"

Sailor Asteroid frowned - it was too late now. Kendra was back in time. The past would stay the same. "So this is how it all happened," she whispered to no one.

A loud bell rang throughout the Palace. This was the moment Annika was dreading, for she knew what it meant. Quickly she clutched her daughter to her chest. A voice sounding like a mixture of masculine and feminine spoke from above them.

"Annika Ame Kenobi, for the abuse of your position, you are hereby punished as thus: Forever will you remain at your current development. You will not age until we deem you fit. You are also hereby ordered to carry out the Guardianship of the Afterlife in person. Effective immediately."

"Nooooo!!" Annika screamed. She beat her fists on the ground, and her body shook with sobs. Seiyaku returned to see all the senshi in tears and Annika hysterical. He knelt beside her and, wrapping his arms around her, he whispered, "It's going to be all right."

Secrets and Lies

Annika yawned, stretched, and tripped over a rug on her way up to her bedroom. It was nighttime on Coruscant, and, surprisingly, Annika was the only senshi still awake. Lately her thoughts had been scattered, and she was up all night thinking. Her strained relationship with Obi-Wan and her brush with near-death left her feeling less than happy. She was determined, however, not to run away from her worries this time.

She had filled her diary with pages and pages of thoughts and feelings, and now she was tired. Ascending the stairs to the second floor, she shuffled her feet into her pink room. Her bed was large and inviting; it beckoned her to climb in and crawl under the covers, and after she changed into her pyjamas and brushed her teeth, she did just that. She was asleep before her head reached the pillow.

In her dream at first, she saw nothing until slowly, small rays of pink light broke through the darkness. They surrounded Annika's body and lifted her away. Her cares and worries faded; she was floating somewhere warm, somewhere perfect.

Her eyes snapped open, her heart pounded in her throat, and she was out of breath. Annika saw a beautiful woman standing in front of her. The woman had long, wavy pink hair and pale pink eyes. Noticing the fuku she wore, Annika calmed a bit.

The pulsating waves pouring over Annika Nesicha's body vibrated somewhat from the shock. She looked quizzically at the woman, but not fearfully. A tone of recognition swept over her, and she stood. There was definitely something about this woman... something that struck a chord within Annika... but she couldn't place the feeling.

Smiling, the pink-haired woman lowered her head. "I'm sorry. I guess a small explanation is in order. My name is Annika, but everyone calls me by my middle name, Ame. I am your future daughter."

"Lys and Lysthea? I know. I am their older sister." Ame caught the scoff on Annika's face and said, "Exactly where is it written that Sailor Jedi can have only one child?"

Annika blushed. Three children? she thought. Her heart betrayed her, and thoughts of Obi-Wan crossed her mind. She suddenly became aware of her mystical surroundings. She turned in a circle and saw walls of pink clouds and swirling black holes. At the far end of one of the walls was a large, glowing, blue orb. The area smelled like cherry blossoms and water. So beautiful here, Annika thought. Beautiful and lonely. There was an overall feeling of emptiness and despair. Annika clasped her hands over her heart.

Annika giggled. She figured the Afterlife would be peaceful, but she didn't expect the feelings of loneliness.

"Nothing living can come to the Afterlife - I surrounded your unconscious mind with what was left of my physical energy. You're not dead, just dreaming."

"Dead? Yes. It's a long story." Ame recounted the story of her childhood, Kendra, and the repercussions of abusing her powers.

"You can't. Only the gods can. For a long time, I wasn't allowed to age. I was stuck at eight years old - the time of my death. When I made the decision to allow your life to be saved recently, I was permitted to grow to the woman you see now. I was still resistant to help in your rescue - it took UsaNeko to remind me just how important you are to people. You may not realise it, but you're part of a very intricate web. A web spun of love, dreams and peace. I couldn't let the future perish because of my own faults."

The pink-haired girl sat on a pink bench and sighed. "When I came back here, I thought about a lot of things. And I made another decision." Ame turned to look at her mother, "I want to know you. I want to come to the past so I can learn to love and understand you in ways I couldn't do in the future. And in order to do that, I have to tell you some things. Things you will not like; some will confuse you and upset you. But you have to know. I have to clear the air before I can travel to the past."

"But I don't want to know the future! I know too much all ready!" Annika yelled. She knew that the Inner senshi hated knowing the future, and she didn't want to look forward to a disappointment.

"Don't worry - you won't remember any of it when you awake." Waiting a moment for Annika to gain her composure, Ame began her tale.

"From my earliest memories, I disliked you. I was jealous. Jealous of your friends, jealous of your hair-"

"Yes. It's such a beautiful silvery white with soft pink highlights. When the light shines on it in such a way, it glows all pink. I'm very jealous," Ame laughed. "Anyway, over time, I grew to hate you." Annika gasped, and tears came to her eyes.

"It all started on the night of my fifth birthday. I received a gift that changed everything. A black diary that belonged to a man named Seiyaku. You don't know him," Ame explained, "Not yet.

"The diary began on the day he came to Coruscant. It detailed his past, his life, and everyday events. He told about how he was in the market one day and saw the most beautiful group of women. 'More beautiful than all the flowers in the Universe' was the way he worded it. One woman in particular caught his eye; she was tall with silvery white hair with pink highlights. He followed the girls around the market, determined to find out the woman's name. He saw them run into trouble, he saw them become Sailor Jedi, he saw them defeat an enemy.

"He continued to follow the girls back to where they lived - the Jedi Temple. In time he discovered the woman's name was Annika - it was you. Of course, your boyfriend, Obi-Wan Kenobi, wasn't too happy about a strange man following you around and giving you flowers."

"My 'boyfriend?' I knew it! We do get back together!! I knew it!" Annika jumped up and danced around. She smiled and laughed. "I can't wait until we get married! It's going to be spectacular, I know it!" Annika danced around the cloudy room until she saw Ame's dour expression. Slowly the pink-haired woman shook her head.

Annika frowned and tears dripped off her chin. "Why? Doesn't he love me enough? Why Ame?"

"Okay. You couldn't marry Obi-Wan because you were already married to someone else."

Annika fainted. She found herself back in bliss, back into that soft void of time and space, without a care in the world.

"Annika!! You can't lose consciousness here or you'll die!" Ame violently shook her mother's shoulders until her eyes fluttered open. "Don't do that again!"

"Over time, Seiyaku grew friendly with you and the other senshi. He makes grand overtures of love to you, and even though you have strong feelings for him, you stay with Obi-Wan. In the diary there was a letter from you written to Seiyaku. In it, you tell him how your 'heart is torn in two' and you love Obi-Wan too much to hurt him. Even though you love Seiyaku also."

Annika shook her head. "That doesn't sound like something I'd do! You have to be wrong!"

"I'm not. Annika... you are a very complicated person. Perhaps you don't know yourself as well as you think you do. You care only about Love, and Love doesn't follow rules. Try to understand, please?"

"A short while after you wrote the note to Seiyaku, Obi-Wan was forced into hiding. I'm not going to tell you why because it had nothing to do with you and me.

"The speeder carrying Obi-Wan crashed on Tatooine. A Jedi spy on the planet reported seeing Obi-Wan's body - he told you and the senshi that he had died."

Annika swooned and looked like she might faint again, but she took a few deep breaths, wiped her tears away and looked at Ame.

"Seiyaku was there to comfort you, there to love you. And time heals wounds. You and Seiyaku married eventually, and were very, very happy. Until word came from Tatooine that Obi-Wan was alive... then everything fell apart.

"Obi-Wan did go into hiding, but he had to make people believe he was dead. He orchestrated the crash and purposefully lied to you. He couldn't risk your life, he knew that you were already in danger, and he didn't want to add to it."

Annika slowly spoke, "So, Obi-Wan and I never marry... but we do get back together and have a child together, you. Then, we have Lys and Lysthea... do I go into hiding too?"

"You were married to Seiyaku, you loved him deeply... so much that you had a child together, me. I know this is complicated, but I'll try to help you understand.

"You see, you were six months pregnant with me when the senshi learned of Obi-Wan. You immediately wanted to fly to his side, but Seiyaku forbid it. He was afraid of losing you to your first love. He knew that even though your heart was divided between him and Obi-Wan, you loved the Jedi just a little more.

"In his diary, Seiyaku wrote of his heart breaking and how he believed, that given the chance, you would happily fall back into Kenobi's arms. So he told you to go to him. You begged him to understand and you promised you'd come back to him, but he left."

She reached behind a chair to produce a large wooden box. The lid creaked open, and Ame retrieved a small silver box and a piece of paper. She handed them to Annika, who gasped.

Inside the box was a red ribbon, cut into pieces, and a gold ring, also split in half. The paper was an official document from the Royal Court of Bakura stating that the Rule of Marriage was mistrusted, and that the bond joining Annika Nesicha and Seiyaku Kosame had been terminated.

Annika couldn't stop the tears from trickling down her cheeks. "But..." she started to say.

"Seiyaku realised it's hard to fight destiny. No, rather, it's hard to fight the destined couple. He didn't trust you, and he didn't want his heart broken further. He wanted to give you the chance with Obi-Wan that you missed.

Ame blushed slightly, "Yes. After my sisters were born, I needed something to occupy my time. Your life is very interesting... I collected things."

"Anyway, in your diary, you wrote about being devastated... heartbroken... But, you also had to see Obi-Wan Kenobi. You launched an extensive search for Seiyaku, one of many actually, but the army found no trace of him. In your ninth month of pregnancy, Obi-Wan, at great risk to his life, ventured to a place called Mos Eisley on Tatooine. He sent you a message, begging you to travel to see him. On the way, you went into labour, and I was born on the second Silver Swan."

"It is. When you arrived with a baby in tow, Obi-Wan was understandably shocked. After you told him your story, about Seiyaku, and about me... He didn't blame you for falling in love with Seiyaku or marrying him. He understood, he was overjoyed to see you alive and well. Then he did something amazing. Putting his life at risk one more time, he ventured back into Mos Eisley. He tried to find my father, not just for you, but for me as well. But, unfortunately nothing was found.

"You and I stayed with Obi-Wan for three months. I think above all else, that was the hardest thing for me to believe... my mother living in a cave dwelling?" Ame smiled. Annika folded her arms.

Ame cleared her throat. "You received a letter on our last day with Kenobi. It was from Seiyaku. He wrote that he had moved on in his life, and was actually remarried." Ame didn't tell her mother that much later it was discovered that Seiyaku had actually been captured by the Empire and that he wrote that letter so Annika wouldn't look for him. He didn't want her or his daughter getting killed. She doesn't need to know everything, thought Ame.

"Over the course of five years, you and Obi-Wan fall back in love... and are married... finally. He adopts me, giving me his last name. Eventually my sisters are born. It's about that same time when Seiyaku comes back into our lives, and I meet with him secretly every two weeks for three years.

"When you first realised that he was the one who sent me the gift, you were upset and hurt... you searched for him again and again, but the guards never found him." Ame smiled. "But that's because I hid him in the palace. He had a room under my own. No one knew about it... not even Kendra. The guards didn't know where to look.

"I don't know much of what happened after I died... all I know is that I've been sitting up here for years - thinking. Oh, Annika. I couldn't tell you how disgusted I was with you. You left my father all alone. He was as disappointed and shattered over you as I was. I felt I understood him after I read the diary. I was never allowed to go see Obi-Wan - it was too dangerous. So you were keeping me from both of my fathers.

"I didn't understand how tortured you were without him... and without Obi-Wan. I lost both of my fathers, and you lost both of your loves. I didn't realise how much we had in common until just now."

Annika was crying heavily and rocking back and forth. Ame walked over to her and placed her hands on her shoulders. Then Ame did something she never thought she would do - she wrapped her long arms around Annika and held her in a gentle embrace.

"Who knows why fate does the things it does? Why life happens in a certain way? That's not for us to worry about. We just have to live our lives and hope we make the right choices. The choices that are right for us. The choice I'm making now is to come to the past, so I can get to know you. There is a second right after the bell tolls for me... it is that second that I am going to come back. I will return to that exact same moment, but when I return I will be filled with the things I've learned in the past. I know that's very confusing."

"Why don't you come and go back earlier so you can never read the diary... never find out..."

Ame lowered her head. "No. My past may be unpleasant, but it has made me who I am today. I am a stronger person, I have learned so many lessons... I don't want to lose that."

Ame led Annika to one of the black holes. "Annika..." She prepared to say something she hadn't felt like saying in a long time. "...Mama... I love you." Those words held little meaning for Ame, but soon they would be the most important words in her life.

Annika sat up straight in bed; she was sweating and shaking. She rubbed her head and sighed, "I must've been dreaming... I wonder what it was about?"