To Be Loved

Written by Annika Nesicha/Sailor Bakura

The day had barely begun, yet the electric lights of Coruscant continued to glow as if time meant nothing. They began slowly at first, trying to imitate an actual sunrise, but soon blossomed into the full illumination of morning, casting shadow aside. All across the grounds of the Jedi Temple, young Padawans scurried to get to classes, and Jedi Masters started their meditations. Deep within the Jedi Temple, in the Room of a Thousand Waterfalls, Annika Nesicha sat and moped. She stared listlessly at the grandeur and majesty of her surroundings... they reminded her of Bakura. They reminded her of the first time Obi-Wan Kenobi asked her to go somewhere with him. What am I doing? she wondered. Why am I still thinking about him?

From the moment when she and Obi-Wan went their separate ways, Annika had tried desperately to get him out of her head, but he somehow always managed to sneak his way back in. And now, she was reliving memories of being together. She remembered the triple date with Kairiku, Anakin, and Xarae and Maul. She remembered the time when Obi-Wan tried to teach her to waltz, and the subsequent broken toe he received. Then there was the time she made him cookies, and although she'd forgotten to add sugar, he ate them all anyway. Annika shook her head, scattering her white hair. I can't think about him... I've got to think about something else.

Easier said than done. Sighing, she stood and eased the pleats in her pink skirt. There had to be a way for her to forget her misery... if only she hadn't bugged the other senshi to pieces. Maybe they'd take pity on her and do something with her. Annika walked back to the direction of the Room Behind the Waterfall, deciding to just go back to sleep.

She watched her pink slippers scrape the floor as she walked, so she didn't see the girl directly in front of her. Annika collided head-first with Kirin Yukiko, causing her to lose balance and slowly tip backward toward a gigantic waterfall. Luckily, Yuki's instincts were sharp and quick; she caught Annika's arm only inches before she fell into the water.

"Thank you, Yuki-chan!!!" said Annika while she rubbed her sore head. Yuki smiled and nodded. She latched her lightsaber to her hip before daring to touch the aching spot on her own head.

"I think," Yuki began, "I'm going to be all right. You've got the hardest head..."

It didn't take the Force to sense Annika's change in mood; her face flopped into a frown and her eyes drooped sadly. Yuki felt sorry for her friend - she knew she was heartbroken. And she understood Annika's feelings in a way she hadn't before, now that she and Ben were dating... the thought of losing him... Yuki understood completely.

"Well, I was going to the practice room to work on my lightsaber techniques, would you come with me? I didn't want to go alone."

Annika looked skeptically at the ice-blue-haired girl standing before her. Yuki loved her privacy, so why would she invite Annika to come with her to practice? She was going to ask, but when she saw the look of a concerned friend in Yuki's eyes, Annika did what she usually did.

"Yuki-chan!!!!! What a coincidence! That's exactly where I'm going!" Annika looped her arm through her friend's arm and happily walked with her. On the way, they passed Riku and Ippin, who were sitting under a tree. Riku was holding Ippin's hand and smiling. They laughed about something, then simply stared into each other's eyes. Everyone else has great relationships... why does mine have to be so rocky? Annika thought.

The question surprised Yukiko, and she didn't know quite how to answer. "Well, I'm not technically a Jedi..."

"You're close enough! You don't have the official title, but other than that, you're as much a Jedi as Master Yoda!!"

"Do you think," Annika began timidly, "do you think I'm being stupid? There are so many times when I want to run into Obi-Wan's arms, and I know that this time apart is supposed to be good for us... but what if I'm wrong? What if I'm supposed to be a big goof-up? Destined to be an immature crybaby? I guess that's why I want to know how you balance things so well."

Yukiko thought for a second; she wanted to be sure she expressed herself clearly to Annika. "I can't pretend to be in perfect balance, because no one is... not even Jedi. I think you are where you are for a reason, and even though you may not understand it right now, it will, in time, work itself out. I have no doubts that Obi-Wan loves you, and it's fairly obvious to everyone that you love him.

"Being a Jedi is something I'm just now learning, but my mother was a Jedi - and a Princess. She balanced her path, her planet, being a wife, and a mother. I hope one day to live up to her standard, and have the strength to balance myself. Just as I have faith in myself, I also have faith in you. So what if you're a crybaby? It's who you are. We all know your personality and love you just the same! So cheer up! It's what you do best!"

Arriving at the practice room, they noticed it was occupied, but not for long. The door quickly slid open, and a very flustered Obi-Wan Kenobi stumbled out. He was sweating and breathing heavily, his face red, and he was carrying his tunic over his left arm.

"Yukiko, how are you?" he said upon noticing the slightly shocked girl waiting by the door.

"Well, actually -" He stopped. A familiar presence warmed him, and he turned his head to see a smiling Annika. "Hello," he whispered. It never failed, no matter how chaotic his emotional state - she always calmed him.

Annika smiled broader and started to say something, but was interrupted by the one person she didn't want to hear.

"Oh, Obi dear! Where did you go?" the flirty voice of Princess Kirei (better know to the senshi as Miss Gorgeous) drifted from inside the practice room. The smile disappeared from Annika's face, and her eyes flipped open wide. The usually calm Jedi Master extended his hand in Annika's direction, "No, no, no! I was giving her lightsaber lessons... that's all!"

Kirei came to the door wearing the smallest and most revealing outfit she could find and a lightsaber dangling in her hand. She grinned wide and said, "There you are! Is our lesson over for the day?

Obi-Wan bowed to her and replied, "I'm afraid so, your highness. I do have other duties to attend to this morning."

She pouted. "That is unacceptable! I will talk with Master Yoda about this later!!"

Obi-Wan bowed to Yuki and Annika then quickly walked down the hall shaking his head.

Yuki thought Annika might explode; her face turned a pale shade of pink, then to green. She had a mental image of Annika's heart suspended from a fine piece of thread, and Princess Kirei was holding a pair of scissors. Miss Gorgeous also noticed Annika's flustered state, and she flashed a devilish grin to both girls.

Annika bit her lip, looked one last time at Yuki, then sulked away. Yuki narrowed her ice blue eyes at Kirei because she knew she used the wrong word on purpose. Yuki was getting rather tired of the Princess' little act, and she was more than willing to help her get over it.

"To tell you the truth," she replied walking back into the meditation room, "my Basic is almost perfect. But, that girl is too close to my property... I cannot allow that."

"Your property? Isn't that inappropriate? Obi-Wan doesn't have feelings for you... besides, people aren't property!"

"Maybe not for you. Being even more honest, I don't even need lightsaber lessons. I am already an expert."

At that, Yuki smiled. She knew she wasn't the best with the lightsaber, but she could hold her own, especially against someone so shallow. "Oh really? I'm pretty good myself, you know."

Miss Gorgeous smirked. "Please take no offence to this, but I find that hard to believe. You are... how should I say this? Obviously inferior? Just like Annika. How could someone like that ever think she deserved a man like Obi-Wan? It's laughable, really."

Yuki was suddenly grateful. Grateful for all the times she came early to anger-management class. Grateful that she didn't skip meditation that morning, and grateful that there were no other Jedi around to hear what she was about to say to Kirei.

"How does she deserve him? I'll tell you how! She's kind, and honest, and loving. She would put her life in danger to save him, or me... even you! She may not be perfect, but she's a better Princess - a better person - than you'll ever be! Obi-Wan loves her with all of his heart, but you wouldn't know anything about that because it seems you don't have a heart."

Kirei looked stunned for a moment, and Yuki thought her words actually had an effect, but Miss Gorgeous laughed and put her hand on her hip.

"That's funny! I hope you don't believe that garbage! Obi-Wan needs a woman, not a little girl."

A knock on the sliding door prevented Yuki from saying something she would really regret. Her eyes darted to the person who had interrupted her mini-tirade - it was Ben. He smiled at her, and Yuki's knees grew wobbly.

"My, my! Look at you!!" Kirei said, strutting over to stand flirtatiously in Ben's eyesight. He tried to look around her, but she was quick to shove her attributes in his face. Trying hard to be polite, Ben smiled at her and said hello.

"Oh hello, indeed! I was just telling my friend here," Miss Gorgeous gestured toward Yuki, "that I am in desperate need of lightsaber practice. Would you like to touch me? Oops, I'm sorry. My Basic is not so good, I mean to say, would you like to teach me?" Kirei placed her hands on Ben's impressive forearms and batted her eyelashes.

Recognition crossed his face as he realised who the woman was. "Oh! You're Kirei? Right?"

Ben cast a pleading glance at Yuki, whose hand was gripped firmly around her lightsaber. He tried to wrestle his arm back from the Princess, but her grip was firm, like a steel trap.

Just then, Yuki smiled sweetly and said, "Excuse me, your highness? If you'd like, I'd be honoured to help you with the lightsaber."

Ben grinned at her; he just loved that usually-hidden mischievous streak in Yuki. Clearing his throat, he helped. "That's a fantastic idea! I'd love to see this! That is... if you don't mind me watching you constantly, Princess Kirei?"

The magic words had been spoken; Kirei dipped her head and giggled. "Of course I don't mind, silly. However, a mere practice is so beneath me, why not a battle?"

"Why not?" he laughed. Settling into a corner, Ben smiled and folded his arms - he couldn't wait to see this.

An hour later, after Yuki had effectively disarmed Kirei for the third time, she bowed to her adversary. "I think we should end for today," Yuki grinned. To Kirei's credit, she did fight well, just not well enough.

"Are you sure you wish to quit, Miss Kirin? I suppose it's for the best, after all, I am tired of letting you win. The next battle would showcase my true talents... but if you insist."

Yuki was amazed so at this woman's arrogance, she was lost for words. She watched as Miss Gorgeous turned and sauntered out of the practise room. Ben came over to congratulate Yuki, but she just stood there.

"How... how did she do that? I beat her! Three times! And she still made it seem like she was the victor! I don't believe that!" she exasperated.

Ben laughed and put his arm around her waist, "Come on... let's go eat lunch." Yuki looked into his eyes and melted. Her neck turned into a wet noodle as she nodded enthusiastically.

Across the Temple, in the cafeteria, Obi-Wan sat silently with the small group of Padawans to which he occasionally taught Jedi history classes. They were enjoying their lunch quietly until a determined Annika strode confidently into the room. She made her way over to Obi-Wan, tripping only once, and stood in front of him. He stood and bowed slightly to her.

"Yes, you may. Obi-Wan... I... I..." She paused for a moment, then said, "I want you to give me lightsaber lessons!"

Gasps shot up around the room along with the sound of several forks hitting the ground. Even Obi-Wan's cool exterior was startled. He cleared his throat several times before finally thinking up an answer.

"Annika, it is traditional for a Jedi to assist their Padawan with the lightsaber."

"Anakin wouldn't mind, would you?" she asked the boy still sitting to Obi-Wan's right. He shook his head and smiled. In a strange way, he enjoyed seeing his Master backed into a corner. So did the other Padawans, who were all smirking.

"Well, Anakin doesn't get a say on the issue. My time is stressed as it is, and I don't think I could..."

Annika interrupted him. "You won't teach me, but you'll teach Princess Kirei, is that right? She's not a Padawan!"

Four of the Padawans chuckled at that but quickly quieted when faced with a stern look from Obi-Wan. They went back to eating their lunches, and Obi-Wan turned his attention back to Annika's current crisis.

"Actually, she is, and I am only helping the Princess because Master Plo Koon asked me to assist her while he is away."

"Have you forgotten that I'm a Princess too? Or am I less important because Bakura is in the Outer Rim, and her planet is on the trade routes?"

A tall, dark-haired man at an adjoining table stood, smiled, and cleared his throat, "I would be honoured to teach you how to use a lightsaber, your highness."

"A Padawan cannot teach anything, let alone lightsaber techniques," Obi-Wan said to the two men who promptly sat. "Very well. Annika, I will teach you. I did have an errand to run for Master Yoda, but since Anakin will be free, he will do it." Obi-Wan grinned at the frown on his friend's face. "I will meet you in the practice room this evening."

Obi-Wan smiled but sighed. Sitting down to finish his lunch, Anakin leaned in and whispered, "You realise you'll probably lose a limb or two, right?"

That evening, Annika stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom trying to decide which dress she should wear. Miyuki and Mitsuko sat with her, offering advice and creative criticism.

"Perhaps," Mitsuko said, "you should wear pants. Skirts might be hard to manoeuvre in, don't you think?"

"A few months ago, before you got here, I went on a shopping spree and bought a black vinyl bodysuit. It's the only thing with pants I have."

"Hey! I like it! It's sexy... at least that what Xarae said." Annika furrowed her brow. She picked through more clothes until she found some pink overalls. "Aa!! Pants! How's this?"

"This is not a date Mitsu-chan!! Obi-Wan is simply instructing me. He's going to be my teacher," said Annika. She suddenly panicked because she remembered she didn't have a lightsaber. "What am I going to do?" she wailed while pacing the room.

Miyuki frowned and said, "It's traditional for the Padawan to construct their own lightsaber."

"But I'm not a Padawan... what am I going to do? Miyuki! Don't you have a lightsaber? May I borrow it? I promise to give it back!!"

"Forget it, Miyu-chan," she sighed. "I'll probably just break it... this was a mistake. Obi-Wan did not want to do this... I wonder why he just didn't tell me no?"

Miyuki sighed and hit Annika on the head. "How many times do you need to be told? Listen, I know you're worried about your future, and I know you're worried about the present... but who cares? Just go for it! Live for the moment!"

Annika's knees shook. "He's going to call it off, I know it!!" Audra rolled her eyes and giggled. Mitsuko and Miyuki pushed her downstairs, past Nom and Priire's Sabaac game, past Yuki reading manga, past Starr and UsaNeko, who were trying to get their ribbons back from Riko. They pushed her all the way to the door of the Room Behind the Waterfall, then opened it, and shoved her out.

She waited for a moment in the nook behind the giant waterfall that guarded the entrance to the Sailor Jedi's headquarters. The cool breeze from the water smelled so nice, and her mind raced. She thought about the conversations she'd had that day. Yuki, Mitsuko and Miyuki all cared for her... they all tried to help her... what did they see that she couldn't? Was it the Force? Was Force sense what helped them...

"Wait a minute!" Annika said. "I'm the senshi of Love! I don't need the Force for that!" She walked around the waterfall and out to the open space. She saw Obi-Wan pacing back and forth nervously, and she once again remembered the first time he had asked her to go somewhere with her. It was a dinner for Master Yoda, and he pretended to ask her because he wanted help with his royal protocol, but in reality, he just wanted to be with her. She remembered how he led her to a balcony and told her how much he loved her... She smiled.

Obi-Wan turned and saw her looking at him. He smiled and walked over to her. His knees were shaky... ordinarily he would use the Force to calm himself, but he liked this feeling. He liked being nervous around her; he liked feeling like he had to impress her. She smells so nice, he thought.

Slowly, he reached into his tunic and produced a small black bag. "Open it," he said, handing it to her. Carefully, Annika opened the back and squealed when she saw its contents. She pulled out a shiny silver lightsaber.

"I made it. I know you don't have one, and honestly, I'm not so certain you should have weapons, but... now you have a blaster and a lightsaber. Turn it on."

She pressed the black button, and a pink beam sparked into life. "It's pink!!!!"

Obi-Wan laughed. "I know. I've had that crystal for a long time. Do you like it?"

"I love it! Thank you!" She turned it off and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her face flushed with heat because she hadn't been this close to him in a long time, and she didn't want to let go. Her heart beat faster, so fast she was sure he could hear it.

"Annika," he whispered, "I... have something to tell you." Annika reluctantly pulled back and sat on one of the many marble benches inside the Room of a Thousand Waterfalls. She lay her lightsaber next to her and clasped her hands in her lap.

"You see, my life as a Jedi is important to me. To be a Jedi is the most honourable and noble thing one can accomplish. I'm supposed to control my emotions, which is difficult. However, it is a far greater challenge when I see you every day, and I am constantly reminded of what I've lost."

He threw his arms into the air. "I don't know. I'm so flustered I can barely think. All I know is that my life was easier, and better, with you in it. Training the 'Chosen One' isn't easy, and I looked forward to talking to you about it - to sharing my emotions, not suppressing them. Perhaps," he laughed, "I'm being ridiculous, but I don't know how much longer I can go on without you. Maybe I am a fool."

Annika stood and walked over to him. Taking his face into her hands, she said, "Who is more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?" She leaned forward, and their lips met passionately.

Inside the Room Behind the Waterfall, the several Force-sensitive senshi, who had been using their talents to eavesdrop, exploded into applause.

"Oh. I didn't know they were ever apart." The little girl shrugged before returning to the picture she was colouring.

About the Senshi in this story:

Annika/Sailor Bakura
Yukiko/Sailor Hoth
Riku
Ippin/Sailor Yavin
Ben/Coruscant Knight
Miyuki/Sailor Aquaris
Mitsuko/Sailor Ithor
Audra/Sailor Alderaan
Nom/Sailor Dathomir
Priire/Sailor Asteroid
Starr
Niji/Sailor Chibi Corellia
Xarae/Sailor Iridonia